


Pay Attention

by sweetbabyjimin



Category: UP10TION
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Fluff and Crack, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, bitto and hwanhee are brothers, equal parts fluff and crack and angst and smut, i fucked with the ages a bit, it isn't mentioned a lot but it seriously influences a lot of actions, its the best of all worlds tbh, please don't i promise he's good, side!weiyoul, sooil isn't terrible either i promise, wooshin and bitto are besties, you might hate wooshin a bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-08-19 10:49:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8202892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetbabyjimin/pseuds/sweetbabyjimin
Summary: Changhyun is perfectly happy with his new (well, if you can call it that) boyfriend, but even he has to admit, four and a half months in a relationship is an awful long time to go without sex.Or alternatively, the one in which Wooseok has a lot of sex and Changhyun isn't getting any, despite being in a relationship.





	1. rough mornings

Changhyun wakes up to the sound of Wooseok's headboard slamming against the wall. 

Sure, his roommates indiscriminate fucking sure makes an effective alarm clock, but Changhyun thinks that if he is going to be woken up a solid 2 hours before he needs to, he'd much prefer to awaken to Gyujin pressing sweet kisses onto his cheeks,or by a farm cockerel, or to the smell of dead fish, or to honestly anything besides the sound of his best friend fucking yet another guy from his Art History class through his unfortunately thin bedroom walls.

Changhyun sits up, swings his legs over the side of his bed and fumbles his square glasses onto his face, wondering where the hell Wooseok got the energy to be fucking quite as vigorously as it sounded through the wall at 7 in the morning. He also considers Wooseok incredibly lucky, for where they not best friends, and were Wooseok's parents not paying way too much money to house the both of them off campus, he would likely have strode straight into his room mid-fuck and strangled him by now. Perhaps it's the influence of dating a notorious optimist, but Changhyun decides that it could be worse, and he rolls out of bed 2 hours early to fix himself a bowl of cereal.

His phone buzzes; it's Gyujin, and Changhyun can't help but smile, despite his lingering annoyance.

 

Gyujin <3: good morning sunshine 07:18

RE Gyujin <3: go away its too early for the sun 07:18

Gyujin <3: wow someones up early 07:20

RE Gyujin <3: blame fucking wooseok 07:21

RE Gyujin <3: idk what im gonna do with him once midterms hit 07:21

Gyujin <3: what could he possibly be up to at this ungodly hour? 07:22

RE Gyujin <3: hes seriously going at it with some dude i think i may need sterilizing for having witnessed it 07:23

There's a pause; Changhyun begins digging into his dry cereal.

Gyujin <3: lol i gotta go, see you at lunch 07:26

 

Just as he picks up his phone to shoot a reply, he hears a door behind him swing open and approaching footsteps. He's startled, as he didn't register the thumping against the walls cease to a halt. Changhyun begins to straighten himself up, though he doesn't get a chance to begin rehearsing the small talk he was going to make with Wooseok's hook up, but evidently he doesn't need to; it's Wooseok himself who has the audacity to walk into the kitchen adorned in only a large grey shirt and his boxers, exposing far too many bruises, scratches and hickeys across his thighs, telling stories of both the night before and the morning after. Changhyun can't believe him. 

 

"Hey"

 

Changhyun is positively dumbfounded. His departing irritation spins around and smacks him in the face, and he begins to doubt that Gyujin has been rubbing off on him as much as he'd initially thought. He stares at Wooseok, wide eyed with disbelief.

 

"What? Cat got your tongue?"

 

"You do realize it's fucking 7 in the morning, right? How the fuck do you find someone early enough to be fucking at 7 in the fucking morning?"

 

"Easy there sailor," Wooseok replies, grabbing the cereal box and pouring a bowl for himself, "and to answer your question, Dongyeol stayed over late last night and needed to wake up early to get to his Sociology lecture." Changhyun watches the smirk slide over Wooseok's symmetrical features in recollection. Somehow, it seriously pisses him off. 

 

"Okay, so where is Sleeping Beauty then?"

 

Speak of the fucking devil (no pun intended).

Prior to this morning, Changhyun would have described Dongyeol as a walking aegyo; naïve and charismatic, and frankly quite innocent. Seeing him stroll out of Wooseok's room, chest and back covered with angry red marks, hair unforgivingly messy and eyes unforgivingly hazy, Changhyun can no longer recall why he ever thought these things about the younger.

Dongyeol pays absolutely no attention to the third person in the room, and immediately is behind Wooseok, sucking and biting his neck, making it increasingly difficult for anybody in the room to continue eating cereal. Changhyun briefly wonders if he's ever had the right perception of anybody in his life, before Wooseok's breathless gasp pushes him off his train of thought and reminds him that he should probably make himself scarce as quickly as possible. He dashes back to his room and throws on the closest pair of jeans, before haphazardly grabbing some of the miscellaneous crap he had laying around on his floor.

 

"Have fun, try not to miss class," Changhyun yells over his shoulder. 

He doubts either of them heard him.

 

~~~~

 

Dongyeol ended up missing his Sociology lecture that morning, Changhyun finds out at lunch. Wooseok fills Changhyun in on his unnecessarily eventful morning which, to Changhyun's utmost surprise and relief, contained no sex, because Wooseok discovered that Dongyeol was already pursuing another guy and wasn't interested in a relationship.

 

"Hwanhee! Of all the people on and off campus he could be into it just had to be Hwanhee didn't it?"

 

"Wooseok, please; you're overreacting."

 

"I am not; it's perfectly legitimate for me to be in a foul mood"

 

And in a foul mood he was, which in turn meant Changhyun had to listen to him brood about how Hwanhee couldn't possibly have any more sex appeal than him and, who does Hwanhee think he is; acting all innocent when everybody knows he's not, and am I seriously so unattractive that I haven't been in one real relationship for our entire university lives when even you, the most oblivious person on the planet managed to get a boyfriend. 

It's a good thing Changhyun knows Wooseok as well as he does, or he might have actually believed that last claim about Wooseok being insecure about his looks. Wooseok was equal parts cute and handsome, and frequently used his looks to get his way. It's what made him so popular in high school. After Changhyun came out of the closet in their sophomore year, he was teased and scrutinized until Wooseok came out of the closet, not a month later, and all of a sudden, none of the kids thought it was worth it to pick on a kid for being gay. In fact, it was Wooseok's (and in turn Changhyun's) coming out that caused a string of boys in their grade to admit they had been harbouring feelings for the blonde. 

And God, did Wooseok bask in that attention.

Wooseok had always been the more outgoing of the two, but he always managed to garner two invites to parties and outings due to his obvious good looks. Yet here he was, poking at his ramen with a chopstick, grumbling under his breath about a freshman that nobody had ever had anything bad to say about until now.

 

Though his bad mood has yet to fade, Changhyun feels for his best friend. 

Sex sure does have a way of messing things up.


	2. distracted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you all enjoyed the first snippet that was truly more of a teaser than anything else ;). this is the first, actual chapter and it has actual plot in it (what?) so it's longer than the last one, plus there's more to come so do anticipate <3

Changhyun is absolutely certain he's spilled noodle water on one of Gyujin's notes.

He'd retired to Gyujin's dorm midway through lunch because while he prided himself on his multifaceted and insatiable appetite, he couldn't stomach all of the extraneous details about last night that Wooseok seemed determined to thoroughly describe. 

He was sat on Gyujin's roughly carpeted dorm room floor, back against the uneven ridges of one of the unkempt twin beds with his knees bent so that his feet were tucked up next to his butt, rather than on top of the scattered paper with barely legible writing scribbled on it that took up the majority free leg space on the floor. 

Changhyun absolutely loved Gyujin's messy dorm. He knew his boyfriend, an Astrophysics major, was often prone to inexplicable brain waves that he always needed to write down right away, despite whatever task he was in the middle of. Many a time had Gyujin politely shoved Changhyun onto the floor so that he could jot down one of his seemingly never-ending theories or philosophies about the universe, but Changhyun didn't care in the slightest. Call him smitten, but he was fascinated by how the cogs in Gyujin's brain never seemed to stop turning, even during something important, like an impromptu make-out session. 

One of the drawbacks of Gyujin's fast intelligence is that in a frenzy to accomplish a large task, many small ones are forgotten. It's this characteristic alone that truly shapes the way most people, including Changhyun when they'd first met, shape their perception of Gyujin. His intelligence was often overlooked, as he would always score less than his capacity on tests due to silly mistakes, and he had a bit of a habit of becoming incredibly forgetful when there was a large task to be taken care of. Changhyun decides that this must have been the case today, because when he'd arrived at the dorm, the door was ajar and there were two unmatched shoes laying scattered by the door. Changhyun could almost smell how frantic he'd been to run to the lab. 

Changhyun was fucking smitten; so lost in thought and the remains of ramen he'd smuggled up with him that he's legitimately startled when Gyujin enters, still shivering a bit from the blustery outdoors.

 

"Hey, how'd you get in here?"

 

"Well, my genius boyfriend," he gets up and moves to wrap his arms around Gyujin's middle, and Gyujin's arms naturally find their place at his shoulders, almost as though it was built into his brain coding; "you left the door wide open." Gyujin shrugs off his (mismatched, Changhyun notices) shoes.

 

"Oh." A flush sneaks its way onto Gyujin's face. Changhyun lets his eyes slide shut, and he leans in to press a kiss of utmost contentment onto Gyujin's lips. The flush no longer attempts to hide at Gyujin's ears, and makes its presence known by dancing across his cheeks. Changhyun almost coos. As they reposition themselves in Changhyun's previous position, Changhyun lets Gyujin whine about him eating in his dorm ("look, you've spilled noodle water all over my star cycle differentiation notes"), about what it's like sitting next to Hwanhee in Applied Chemistry ("He's like a five year old, I swear. It's all 'omg Gyujin wouldn't it be really funny if I mixed caesium with water AND a catalyst?' Honestly, I know he's your brother but I don't know how you've managed to live with him all this time.") 

Changhyun just listens, adding his two-cents here and there when needed, his arm strung around Gyujin's shoulder. Conversation flows easily between the two, and somehow they end up comparing their friends to elements based on their characteristics.

 

"Wooseok is... uranium." 

 

Changhyun flicks him for purposely dropping the honorific.

 

"Really? Why?" 

 

"Because he's toxic and it's dangerous to be around him for extended periods of time"

 

Gyujin earns himself a smack on the shoulder for that one.

 

"Okay, what am I?"

 

"Definitely a noble gas"

 

Changhyun is scandalized.

 

"What? I'm not a noble gas, I'm tons of fun."

 

Gyujin thinks for a minute. Changhyun abandons his ramen in favour of stroking his hair.

 

"Ah! You're fluorine, hyung!"

 

"Why?"

 

"Because your highly attractive and form 'bonds' easily."

 

Changhyun laughs out loud, and pulls Gyujin in for a long, languid kiss. He supposes he feels a bit guilty for ditching Wooseok at lunch (he knows he'll have to make up for it before he pays for it), but he can't seem to bring himself to care when Gyujin brings his hand up to the back of his neck, and digs his fingers into his hair. 

Changhyun's ramen is quickly forgotten, and likely spilled as they move to sit atop the bed they had previously been leaning on. Changhyun cups Gyujin's cheeks with his hands, and deepens the kiss. Gyujin tilts his head to the right a bit, and Changhyun considers that an invitation for his tongue to prod gently at Gyujin's bottom lip. Gyujin accepts the invitation, and moans into the kiss. Changhyun nips on Gyujin's bottom lip, then lightly presses on his shoulder, and Gyujin complies, lying back with Changhyun on top of him, right leg between both of Gyujin's.

The new position allows Changhyun to be a little bit daring, so he pulls on Gyujin's hair just enough to tilt his head back, and kisses along his jawline and at the top of his neck. Gyujin's arms slide to Changhyun's back and he gasps, so Changhyun intensifies his kisses to sucking; not quite hard enough to leave marks, but aggressive enough to make Gyujin's head spin a bit. 

Changhyun has a few recollections of experiencing someone submit under him, but it was nothing like this. The emotional connection hadn't been there, and Changhyun hadn't been fascinated by them the way he was Gyujin. Gyujin to him was an incredible person that Changhyun had the honour of experiencing. Changhyun got to watch the cute way Gyujin's pronounced eyebrows would furrow whenever he was concentrating, got to see the way his eyes would squint if he smiled wide enough, but rarely ever did he get to see Gyujin with his head back, eyes closed delicately enough for his eyelashes to still flutter, lips agape and red.

It made Changhyun positively hard.

He kisses further down Gyujin's neck and slides his free hand under Gyujin's shirt. Gyujin's entire body freezes. Changhyun feels all his muscles tense up beneath him.

 

"Uhmm..," he pulls away completely, lips still pink and swollen from kissing. It's unfair, really. "I haven't eaten yet; I should probably head down."

 

Somehow Gyujin has managed to wiggle out from under Changhyun, who's still in shock at the turn of events. He's standing in front of the mirror mounted on the bathroom door, and running his fingers through is hair. Changhyun sits back onto his knees and though he's disgruntled, he can't and probably shouldn't bring himself to complain.

 

"Plus, Yein hyung is going to be up soon, I'd rather not be here when he has a heart attack over you eating in the dorm."

 

Changhyun is a little bit confused, but then again he normally is, and it isn't uncommon for Gyujin to cut their activities to a halt; it's the reason they still haven't had sex, or done anything remotely sexual for that matter.

 

"Yeah, sure... I'll come with," Changhyun runs a hand through his hair and pushes his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. "Wooseok is probably wondering where I am."

 

"Wooseok hyung...? No, I don't think I can deal with him today. How about I just meet you sometime later, or maybe tomorrow?"

Gyujin is already gathering up his notes that aren't soggy, putting them on his desk and picking up his backpack; Changhyun is fairly certain he's busying himself so he can steer clear of the large, very obvious elephant in the room. 

 

"I'll see you, okay hyung?" Gyujin gives Changhyun a fast, innocent peck (on the cheek, if you can believe that), and hurries off.

 

Gyujin <3: don't wait up k? yein's gonna be a hot mess when he sees the state of the room 12:48

It's only when Changhyun is back in his apartment bedroom staring at the ceiling, wondering what went wrong that he realizes Gyujin left his door open again.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Did I tell you I got switched into your extremely dull boyfriends Applied Chem class?" Hwanhee asks through a mouthful of blueberry muffin, "as if I needed anything to make that class any more excruciating."

It's the following day, and Changhyun is meeting Hwanhee at the coffee house just off campus. It's a bit of a ways away, but Changhyun had a bit of a crush on the barista Minsoo when he was a freshman, and he was still having trouble breaking the habit of going out of his way to have Minsoo serve him his caramel frappuccino with a smile and a wink, despite having gotten over his feelings over two years ago. Plus, the coffee tastes better, but that might just be the influence of Minsoo's winks.

 

"Oh shut up, you love him."

 

Hwanhee laughs. "Okay hyung, you caught me; he's actually kind of really smart. How he ended up dating you, I'll never- oww~!"

Hwanhee is cut off when Changhyun smacks him on the head with the napkin holder.

 

"Speaking of dating, you'll never guess what I found out yesterday." Changhyun plants the seed of gossip that he knows his younger brother can't resist. There were times in their childhood where Hwanhee become positively mad if Changhyun withheld information from him. Today however, Changhyun has no such interest. "Apparently Dongyeol is going to ask you out."

Changhyun is puzzled when he sees Hwanhee wrinkle his nose in disagreement.

 

"Dongyeol? No way, he's like in love with Wooseok hyung, you know, like everybody."

 

"Like you," Changhyun retaliates. "Then why did he-" Changhyun trails off. His mind wanders to his encounter with both Wooseok and Dongyeol the prior morning, and he supposes it makes sense if he ignores the piece of information Wooseok gave him at lunch the same day, which he can't. 

 

"I'm confused, does this have something to do with Sooil hyung?"

 

In the future, Changhyun knows he will deny doing a double take at this moment.

 

"Wait, what do you know about Sooil hyung?"

 

"I know that whenever Wooseok hyung is in a bad mood, the two of you get these weird looks on your face and he always says 'oh my god, not everything is about Sooil hyung, leave him out of this',"

 

Changhyun has to say, he's a little bit astonished. He didn't realize that his brother was more perceptive than he'd thought, or that he and Wooseok (mostly himself though) weren't quite as discrete as they had believed. Either way, his brother had no business poking around in that can of snakes; he was still Changhyun's only brother, and Changhyun was hopelessly protective over his dongsaeng.

 

It was just Hwanhee's freshman year, and Changhyun wouldn't let anything happen to him; he wouldn't be able to live with himself if it did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, i'm i science nerd how could you tell
> 
> also i don't think i've ever shipped a pairing more in my entire life
> 
> more to come with gyutto, also insight as to why wooseok and changhyun are bffs as well as appearances from more members


	3. don't do it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise i wasn't expecting this update to take so long, but you know how life gets. also i tried to make this chapter extra special so please read it with joy :).

"Tell me again why I should go to some stupid party."

 

The two were talking in their shared kitchen, Wooseok nursing a cup of chamomile tea, even though it was still midday. He'd always claimed it was the best to drink after sex. Changhyun is sat atop the countertop across from him.

 

"It's not just 'some stupid party', it's Sungjun's birthday party."

 

"It's a fake birthday party, is what it is. Wasn't his birthday in like, May?"

 

"June, but you're missing the point."

 

"Oh, am I?"

 

"Listen, Yein has this huge stupid crush on Sungjun and he's making Gyujin go who's making me go so I'm making you go."

 

"Ew, I'm not going just because your stupid boyfriend wants me to go."

 

"Come on, you love Sungjun."

 

"Correction: I fucked Sungjun. Once. And I don't see how that justifies me going."

 

"Wooseeeooooook."

 

He takes a sip of his tea.

 

"No."

 

"You can wear a bomb-ass outfit."

 

Changhyun knows his words have struck a cord. Wooseok taps his nails against his mug, and is probably about to make a decision, when a third person enters the room, or rather exits Wooseok's room into the open space of their living room/kitchen. The first thing Changhyun notices is his height, closely followed by the realization that he had never seen this guy before. He saunters straight over to Wooseok and wraps his arms around his waist from behind and kisses his jaw. 

 

"I don't believe we've met," the boy says from behind Wooseok, "I'm Moon Bin, freshman."

 

"Lee Changhyun, third year."

 

Moon Bin (or just 'Bin', Changhyun supposes) smiles a warm, cat-like smile. He stands with poise and a certain maturity, despite his age and how early it still was in the semester. Though they are the same age, Changhyun has difficulty imagining Hwanhee smiling such an authoritative smile in the apartment of two third-years, off campus, for that matter, and hopes that he never does. 

 

"I hope you don't mind, I overheard you talking about Sungjun hyung's birthday party tonight."

 

Wow, this kid has gusto. Changhyun can't help but admire him a bit.

 

"I'll be there hyung, so I hope you will too."

 

Bin still has his arms wrapped around Wooseok under his cup of tea, but he's now inclined himself to the left so he can look Wooseok straight in the face. He's smiling what Changhyun thinks is his signature warm cat smile, and Changhyun's heart breaks just a little bit. He can feel Bin's determination to make it for the long haul, and not end up as another one of Wooseok's hook ups, and while Wooseok is smiling and leaning in, Changhyun knows his best friend. He knows poor Bin doesn't stand a chance, especially because his demeanour reminds him of Sooil, and were there a chapter in Wooseok's life he wouldn't want to repeat, Changhyun would bet everything he has that it would be that one.

 

Envy quickly replaces pity, and it washes through Changhyun's body so fast it almost knocks him over. It astonishes him how close the two of them seemed to be after just one afternoon of ill-timed fucking. Changhyun knew for a fact they had met for the first time that morning, when Wooseok was on his way to the coffee house. His phone had been carelessly left on the table, and he didn't miss the discouragement that flickered over Hwanhee's face when his screen lit up from Wooseok texting in his rain-check.

 

Wooseok looks pretty pleased with himself now, with Bin rubbing his forefingers in circles on his stomach, and annoyingly smug look on his face. That must be the power of satisfactory sex, not that Changhyun knew, of course; it had been a decent 5 years since he'd last gotten any. He's seriously been trying not to let it set in just how sexually frustrated he's been since then. It wasn't so bad at first having strangers parading in and out of their apartment; Changhyun loved making friends. It did however, put a strain on his resolve when he first started dating Gyujin, but his mentality was always 'any day now, it’ll happen', which is how almost five months had passed, dragging out Changhyun's seemingly infinite dry spell, and masturbating marathon.

 

Bin declaring that he has to go, in order to not miss anymore lectures today is what pulls Changhyun out of his stupor. Bin kisses Wooseok for slightly longer than Changhyun would have liked, before waving goodbye, telling Wooseok to call him, and leaving. 

 

"Wow he's friendly; not exactly your type."

 

"I know, he's kinda affectionate, but he's a really good fuck so I don't even care."

 

"What happened to Dongyeol? I thought you were still salty about that."

 

"Okay first off, I wasn't 'salty', I was mildly irritated. Second, just because I'm still working things out, doesn't mean I can't have fun in the mean time, so don't worry your pretty little head."

 

He punctuates his words by ruffling Changhyun's hair with his free hand. Changhyun sighs in an attempt to release his exasperation. 

 

"We leave for the party at 9."

 

"Make it 10, and I might consider it."

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

They ended up leaving for Sungjun's party at 10:30 because Wooseok couldn't seem to decide whether or not he still wanted to go, and every time he would change his mind, Changhyun had to re-convince him, which took around 10 minutes at a time. 

 

By the time they arrive, Wooseok is beginning to think he's made the wrong decision. 

 

For starters, Dongyeol is the first person he spots, closely followed by Hwanhee, the two in the middle of an unnecessarily animated conversation. Changhyun makes a loud, jolly introductory noise as if to show that the party had truly arrived with them, and Dongyeol doesn't even spare a glance. It makes a nauseating mix of jealousy and annoyance twist in his stomach. Wooseok needs a drink. Now. 

 

"Hey, you made it! And you even managed to bring the incorruptible with you, how are you by the way, Wooseok?"

 

Wooseok grits his teeth. "I'm great, where's all the drinks?"

 

Sungjun gestures somewhere behind him, and Wooseok beelines. He mixes himself a disgusting concoction of as many different kinds of alcohol he thinks will get him drunk quickly as the cup could take, before downing it in one go and proceeding to make a second. The sharp sting of vodka lingers on his tongue. 

Several drinks in and sufficiently 'buzzed', he sets a mission to find Changhyun. The party is big enough that it stretches across the entire hallway, each room inhabiting a different music playlist, a different set of people, and a different vibe. Wooseok is currently in what he assumes is the 'let's drink away our problems' room, the vibe sickeningly existential. All of the people in the room he had never met before, and they all seemed hellbent on drinking their weight that night. Wooseok decides he needs to get out of there, fast.

 

He stumbles into the hallway, runs straight into Bin. Wooseok is most certainly not in the mood right now.

 

"Hyung, hey! What's up; you seem a little anxious."

 

"I'm uuuh looking for Changhyun. I can't seem to um. Find him." He's looking at the floor, avoiding Bin's cat-like eyes.

 

"Oh, do you need any help?"

 

Wooseok doesn't think he's ever rejected someone quite so fast. He manages to tell Bin they'll hang out later for sure (they won't), before he ducks into the next room down. 

 

Ah, there he is.

 

He finds Changhyun holding a beer in one hand, the other wrapped around Gyujin's waist as they kiss far too enthusiastically for public view. Wooseok isn't having any of it. 

 

He starts to head in their direction, before somebody to his left catches his eye. It's gorgeous Minsoo from the coffee house, and he isn't alone. There's a man behind him, tall and authoritative. He's hugging Minsoo from the back, and though it's rather dark, Wooseok can see a smirk etched onto his handsome features. Minsoo giggles and Wooseok feels his stomach turn again. He doesn't understand what it is about this man that's making him feel weird, but it probably has something to do with the fact that he looks an awful lot like a blurry Sooil. 

 

It's hard to make out his face while Wooseok's eyes are so unfocused from the bad lighting and the alcohol running through his veins, but the man looks up, and catches Wooseok dead in the eye. 

 

It's Sooil. The room promptly begins spinning.

 

"Hey hyung, can we talk?" a voice asks from behind him. Wooseok turns a bit too fast, and moves to push whoever it is out of the way, but for that he's not quite fast enough, and he doesn't register when he throws up onto Dongyeol's shoes.

 

Dongyeol shrieks, but Wooseok doesn't hear it. It's way too soon for this to be happening, Wooseok thinks. It's been almost six years, but Wooseok hasn't had a chance to get his life together yet, to prove his potential was more that what Sooil thought. Wooseok's body shakes and he heaves again. He's only just started to heal old scars, it's way too soon. 

 

Wooseok feels strong hands clasp around his arms.

 

"Let's go," Changhyun says lowly into his ear, before guiding him out of the room.


	4. tough love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so late! i've had so much work piling up that i just didn't have any time, but hopefully i'll crank out a few more chapters (see? plural) this week. enjoy!

Wooseok has to say, he's a little bit more than disgusted with himself. He may be a Musical Theatre major, and though he's prone to it, he knows he's not overreacting right now.

  


Flawed as he may be, Wooseok had always prided himself in his class and elegance, both of which were essentially ejected out of his body and onto Dongyeol's shoes. He'd never been a light drinker, and certainly wasn't a sloppy drunk, but something, or rather someone, had stopped him cold that day.

  


Damn, he still had the same condescending glint in his eyes.

  


Wooseok still has memories of his time with Sooil. Try as he might, he can't block out all recollections of his first love. At 15, he'd been infatuated, and 18 year old Sooil had made their relationship a bit... unorthodox. Needless to say, his reappearance had been a bit of a nasty shock for Wooseok.

  


Changhyun was, of course, fantastic about the whole situation. He was the one who had walked Wooseok all the way back to their apartment, the whole twenty five minutes, rubbing his back and telling him 'don't worry' and 'we don't have to talk about it'. Changhyun was also the one who dished out Wooseok's serving of apologies. He apologized to Sungjun for their early departure, to Dongyeol, before promising to buy him new shoes, to Gyujin for disappearing for the rest of the night, letting him know he would likely be occupied all weekend.

  


He'd even apologized to the owner of the dormitory; they had been in what Wooseok assumed was the 'let's make out in here so we don't offend our single friends room' when it happened.

  


All the apologies just served to make Wooseok feel even more like crap, so he's currently curled up on their couch in a large black hoodie and the red sweatpants that smell like Dongyeol, fully sobered up, and drinking chamomile tea. He decides that chamomile tea is the best liquid compassion. He takes a sip, and feels warmth and understanding roll down his tongue, and light a fire in his stomach, but it only lasts a moment, and the dread sets in again.

 

His thoughts quickly travel back to Sooil. How long had he been near campus, how did Wooseok not know he was around, and when did he start dating gorgeous Minsoo from the coffee house? Wooseok had flirted himself into a hole every time he encountered Minsoo, and he'd always responded with his signature wink and a few witty comebacks before starting his 'I have a boyfriend, sorry' line, but Wooseok had never imagined it was Sooil that had snatched him up.

 

He wonders if Sooil has been lurking around campus, watching as Wooseok picks up guy after guy. The idea of Sooil seeing him, perhaps following him makes Wooseok feel dirty, like he needs to scrub all the skin of his body, as if Sooil's disapproving eyes could cut deep enough to leave marks. He wonders with absolute horror if Minsoo had ever mentioned him to Sooil before. He wonders if this would make Sooil jealous or amused. It's probably the latter, he thinks to himself.

 

Wooseok recalls the pain he'd felt when Sooil left, lets it wash over his body, through his nervous system. He'd known in advance, but it did nothing to soothe his hurting heart when Sooil broke it off that day. He was still fifteen, though highly immature and self-righteous, he knew he couldn't hold a candle to all the college boys Sooil was sure to encounter.

 

Boys like Minsoo, Wooseok thinks bitterly. He sips his tea again.

 

Changhyun reenters the room; he's now wearing his glasses and sweats similar to Wooseok's, and he joins him on the couch, resigning for the night.

 

The two sit in silence for a few minutes, the only sounds being Wooseok taking the occasional sip, before Wooseok says "I saw him today; Sooil hyung."

 

Changhyun nods his head.

 

"He was with Minsoo from the coffee house. I mean, of course he would end up with perfect, handsome, witty Minsoo. It's been six years, Changhyun; six _years_ , and I didn't even get a chance to get my life together. After that break-up I-"

 

Wooseok's hands have started to tremble a bit, and his gaze is fixed on the coffee table in front of him. Changhyun sighs and rubs his eyes under his glasses.

 

"Okay, I don't exactly know what happened between the two of you, so can't really I imagine what you must be feeling now but," he places his hand on Wooseok's shaky wrist and looks him square in the eyes, "I'm here, okay? I get mad at you sometimes, but ultimately, you're my best friend, and that always comes first."

 

"Before Gyujin?"

 

"Before Gyujin."

 

That makes Wooseok smile a bit, and when Changhyun proposes that they spend the rest of the weekend playing Mario Kart alone together ("no boyfriend, I promise"), Wooseok decides Changhyun is the greatest person on earth, even if his boyfriend's annoying.

  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  


Gyujin's a little bit angrier than he needs to be, Changhyun decides.

 

He'd ignored all of Changhyun's texts, and hadn't picked up when he called, which was completely out of character. Wooseok had been annoyed, and rightfully so; their boyfriend-free weekend ended up being a bit too free on Gyujin's part for Changhyun's liking.

 

Of course, if Gyujin had just texted him back on Friday night after the party, Changhyun wouldn't have felt the need to call him that morning.

 

He's sat on the couch next to Wooseok, watching some Studio Ghibli movie he didn't know the name of, debating whether or not to call again, now that it was 3:30 in the afternoon. Surely Gyujin wanted to hear from him, right? And perhaps his phone died, or he hadn't had access to it since last night, and he was still waiting for Changhyun to call, to show he cared.

 

He gets up and calls again, much to Wooseok's disdain. He's sent straight to voicemail.

 

"Hey Jinnie, it's me again. Ah...." Changhyun runs his hands through his hair. "You haven't answered any of my texts or calls yet, and I'm kinda worried. Let me know when you get this, and please, call me back."

 

Wooseok looks over from where he's sitting.

 

"Trouble in paradise?" he asks, with a sarcastic lilt in his voice.

 

"Ah, don't worry about it. He'll call back- I know he will."

 

Gyujin does not call back. Changhyun checked his phone on the hour, every hour to no avail. Wooseok had gotten so frustrated with him that he'd taken Changhyun's phone and shoved to the back of his underwear drawer. Changhyun supposes he deserved that one.

 

He'd managed to forget about Gyujin in the midst of a very heated Mario Kart tournament. Wooseok had suggested they got plaster drunk, and the tournament ended up being a duel between eleventh and twelfth place, the two laughing too hard and sabotaging one another to place any higher. But Sunday morning rolls around and Changhyun is fed up with the silence.

 

Wooseok, satisfied with the previous nights events, gives him back his phone, and Changhyun starts to lose his mind a little bit, not hearing anything from Gyujin. He participates half-heartedly in the Mario Kart matches that day.

 

By the time Monday arrives, Changhyun is beside himself. There had never been a stretch this long of no communication since they had first gotten together.  It seems a little stupid, Changhyun thinks, that he should be going out of his mind with worry, just because his boyfriend hasn't texted him all weekend, but he can't help it. When they had first met, it was as though his heart had sighed in relief; since then his heart has longed to be close to Gyujin's, and this weekend it had started aching with withdrawal. Changhyun, however, has a bit of peace of mind. He and Gyujin share a class on Monday mornings, and he'll be able to confront him then, or if worse comes to worse, at lunch.

  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  


Confronting Gyujin does not go as planned. In fact, it's less of a confrontation, and more of Changhyun poking him throughout class and following him everywhere he goes, bugging him about not texting back while Gyujin all but ignores him.

 

He's being clingy, he gets it, but he thinks he deserves an explanation, so he wears Gyujin down until his resolve breaks after lunch, finally whipping around with his arms crossed and snapping " _What?!_ "

 

"Uh, I texted and called you like, a billion times this weekend."

 

"Yeah, and I ignored you like, a billion times this weekend."

 

"I don't get what I did."

 

"You don't? Really?"

 

"Wooseok needed me, okay? What was I supposed to do, ignore him so we could keep making out?"

 

"You know I hate parties, and you know I don't get along with Wooseok hyung. I needed you there for moral support and you just vanish with him. What am I supposed to think?"

 

"That I'm just being there for my best friend?"

 

"Look," Gyujin takes a breath, as if to calm down a bit, "I'm sorry I'm being unreasonable, but I don't like Wooseok hyung, and I can't stand that I'll always be second to him in your eyes. You know how I get at parties, and I really wanted you there."

 

"Jinnie.." Changhyun collects him into his arms. Gyujin uncrosses his arms and succumbs to the hug. "I'm sorry I ditched you." Changhyun begins stroking his hair. "Wooseok needed a friend, and you know how good he is at keeping those. I was just being there for him."

 

"I know," Gyujin says into Changhyun's shirt.

 

"Gyujin I love you, but Wooseok always comes first, okay?"

 

Silence.

 

Gyujin pulls away from the hug, eyes wide, eyebrows raised, and mouth downturned, an unintentional puppy-dog face. Changhyun sees his eyes start to fill with unshed tears.

 

Uh oh.

 

"What?"

 

"It's only because I've known him longer, I mean, if I had known you just as long you would-"

 

"-Not that. You..." Gyujin looks down and blinks, and two tears race down his cheeks. Changhyun hates himself. "...you ...love me?"

 

Changhyun releases the breath he didn't know he'd been holding. This was a much better outcome than he'd been expecting, but he soon realizes what he just said. Gyujin had learned his feelings before he did, but only giving himself a few seconds to consider his state of mind, and not how crazy it is to be quite so in love so soon, he confirms.

 

"Yeah, I do. I love how you dance when you get excited, I love how you love animals, I love how you crinkle your nose when you mmpH-"

 

Gyujin grabs him and kisses him, long and hard. He pulls away just long enough to say "I love you too, you goober," before leaning in and kissing him again with fervour.

 

Changhyun is still considering what it means to be a 'goober' when Gyujin pulls Changhyun so that his own back is against a wall, and glides his tongue against Changhyun's.

  
Changhyun quickly realizes that two guys making out in the middle of a university hallway may not be the most well received thing, and it seems Gyujin is either thinking the same thing, or maybe is just really fucking horny, because he pulls away and drags Changhyun into the janitor's closet a few feet away, submerging them into darkness.   
  
  
  
"I love you too," Gyujin says breathlessly, probably more to get used to it than for Changhyun's ears, and Changhyun feels Gyujin's lips presses against his before his eyes have the chance to adjust.   
  


Gyujin's arms loop around Changhyun's neck, pulling him closer, and they kiss rougher and faster, filled with passion. 

 

Changhyun had been in love with Gyujin probably since the day they met, and if he'd known that a simple profession was all it took, he'd have been screaming it from the top of mountains from day one. 

 

One of Gyujin's hands ventures to underneath Changhyun's shirt, and Gyujin lays his palm on Changhyun's smooth chest. His arms find home base, Gyujin's waist, before Changhyun slides them lower so they run up and down Gyujin's ass and thighs. Gyujin moans into the kiss and tilts his head so that Changhyun's tongue has easier access to his. Changhyun's hands settle onto Gyujin's hips, and he tightens his grip a bit so he can pull their crotches together. Gyujin moans again, so Changhyun repeats the action. 

 

Changhyun's brain is gone, and he doesn't bother trying to look for it; everything has narrowed down to the present moment - Gyujin. He's waited for  _so_ long, and even if it's in a dingy janitor's closet it doesn't matter because-

 

Gyujin pushes him away. Changhyun can hear his heavy breathing, and his eyes still haven't adjusted when Gyujin says "I can't, I'm sorry," before fleeing.

 

The moment is over as quickly as it begun, and Changhyun is left alone in the dark once again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed this extra long chapter :D sorry for the cockblock
> 
> i'll try to make them all this long, or maybe longer, in the future if i can, but life is really weighing me down right now so please don't be mad if i take a while to update.
> 
> also i have a seriously angsty story from this verse in the ideas box that would help fill in a lot of background info, and it may feature a few 'bulletproof' guys so let me know if you'd be interested!
> 
> big things in the next chapter, please anticipate


	5. harm's way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: NON-CON MENTIONED HERE
> 
> all those in favour of copious drama, raise your hand and say i  
> *proceeds to wave arms in the air*
> 
> i tried not to make this too ranty, but i channeled myself into this a lot so it might be a little bit. 
> 
> sorry it took me ages to update; idk what my schedule will be but at the very least i'll update once a week. 
> 
> it's a long one so enjoy :3

"You did  _ WHAT _ ?!"

  
  


"So I asked him out, no big deal."

  
  


"Um, it's a huge deal."

  
  


"Shouldn't you be happy that Hwanhee's first potential boyfriend is someone you already know?"

  
  


"That's  _ why _ I'm worried Wooseok, because I know you. I know how you can get."

  
  


Wooseok puts his hand to his heart in feigned hurt, before getting up to retrieve the orange juice from the fridge. He's not taking Changhyun seriously, and it's pissing him off. A lot. 

  
  


"Changhyunnie, we're besties; you can trust me. And I don't know why you're getting all bent out of shape, it's not like I proposed; I just asked him out, that's all."

  
  


"It's Hwanhee. Coming from you, it's the  _ same thing _ ."

  
  


"Aww, see this is why I love freshmen, they're so cute when they develop emotional attachments." He pours himself a glass, then holds the pitcher up in question.

  
  


"Wooseok. End it."

  
  


The orange juice goes away. Wooseok places his cup on the coffee table and reassumes himself on the couch behind the screen of his laptop. "Yeah, that's not happening. Now leave me alone, I've got to finish reading this screenplay."

  
  


Changhyun walks over and casts his shadow over Wooseok so that he looks up, and maintains eye contact when he shuts the lid of his laptop.

  
  


"End. It."

  
  


"Why?"

  
  


"Um, I don't know, because you haven't paid any mind to Hwanhee before today, because he's probably going to be a lot more invested in this, because you were just lusting after his best friend not two days ago, because you've got so much boy drama you may as well be Taylor Swift!"

  
  


Wooseok pushes his computer away and stands so the two are eye level.

  
  


"This is a good thing,  _ you're _ " he punctuates by jabbing Changhyun's chest with his finger, "supposed to be supportive." He crosses his arms. "You know how long I've wanted a boyfriend and you know how long Hwanhee's wanted me. It's a wonder it took me so long to put it together."

  
  


"Well then wha't wrong with all of your numerous hook-ups, huh? What's wrong with Bin; he really likes you!"

  
  


The rhythm of the argument falters, before falling apart completely. Wooseok looks away from Changhyun, who's using his intense eyes to get answers (as much as he can at least, it works much better without his glasses). Wooseok sits back down, and takes a deep breath. When he speaks again, his tone is indignant, and his eyes are narrowed.

  
  


"Why can't you just be happy for me? Aren't you supposed to be my best friend, or does that title now belong to Gyujin?"

  
  


"Leave him out of this."

  
  


"How can I?" Wooseok asks with a heartless laugh, "he's the one who's made you go all soft, after all the hard work I did on you."

  
  


"I am not 'soft'".

  
  


"Is that so? Well then when was the last time you got laid?"

  
  


Wooseok's words are equal parts bark and bite. Changhyun knows he's bringing this up to change the subject, but it stings all the same. It's mostly Wooseok's intention to inflict pain that does the job, more so than the words he's saying. 

  
  


"You know I don't want to play that game anymore, Wooseok."

  
  


"And now, neither do I, which is why you should be happy that I've found someone to settle down on, and golly, it just happened to be your dongsaeng. Sleep on it, you'll realize this is good for everybody."

  
  


Wooseok gets up and pats Changhyun on the shoulder once, twice, before heading towards his room. Changhyun's jaw is tight and his gaze is fixed on nothing in particular. 

  
  


"And what about Dongyeol?" he calls out after Wooseok.

  
  


"Ahh don't worry about him; I've got this all figured out."

  
  


Changhyun doesn't miss the glint in Wooseok's eyes, and somehow he knows this can only end badly.

  
  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
  


"I just don't get what the big deal is, hyung."

  
  


"The 'big deal' is that you're going to get hurt."

  
  


"Hyung, I'm eighteen, I think I can make decisions for myself, thanks."

  
  


"SSHHHHH," comes the voice (or rather the noise of wind rushing past the teeth) of the librarian, telling them to quiet down. Second to Friday's, Tuesday nights were always the quietest in the library at night, a fact that had always managed to confuse Changhyun to no end, considering the professor's, who seemed it would give them no greater joy than to schedule just about every test of the year on Wednesday's. Tuesday was always Changhyun's favourite day to visit Hwanhee working the late shift, but he's not there for leisure today, he's come for business.

  
  


"Listen,"

  
  


"SHH."

  
  


"Listen," Changhyun whisper-shouts, "This is going to end badly, trust me."

  
  


"You don't know that for sure."

  
  


"I know Wooseok, okay?"

  
  


"If he's such a bad guy, then why is he _ your  _ best friend."

  
  


Changhyun sighs and rubs his eyes in exasperation. He makes sure his tone is less accusatory when he speaks again.

  
  


"It's complicated, okay? I don't want you involved in any Wooseok drama."

  
  


Hwanhee begins slotting books into shelves, which means Changhyun has to follow him around, whisper-shouting. He feels sufficiently ridiculous. 

  
  


"You know how long I've liked him, hyung"

  
  


"I know how long you've lusted after him, it's a different thing."

  
  


" _ God _ ," Hwanhee says out loud, thumping a large stack of books down on a desk, earning himself a loud 'SHHH' that fell on deaf ears, " I finally get asked out by the guy I like and my own hyung can't even be happy for me? I mean I understand Dongyeol getting mad, but you? Really?"

  
  


"I'm just looking out for you best interest."

  
  


"When are you going to realize, I'm not a baby anymore. I can look out for myself without my hyung  _ smothering _ me."

  
  


The irony is not missed on Changhyun, when Hwanhee rather cutely collets his hands into fists and stomps away from him, vaguely resembling a toddler throwing a tantrum. 

  
  


The only thing Changhyun wants is to gather Hwanhee into a safety bubble with all of the things he loved, and keep him on a shelf, completely out of harms way, and he had tried for as long as possible to, but of course, Hwanhee grew restless. Now that he was growing up, Changhyun knew he couldn't be the one to teach Hwanhee everything anymore. They'd had different interests, different paths for a little while now, but it still pained Changhyun that he couldn't be Hwanhee's hero any longer. 

  
  


Changhyun was hopelessly protective over Hwanhee, even from his own best friend, and at times he knew he took it too far, but not this time. Wooseok was up to something, something Changhyun  _ really _ didn't want to deal with right now, especially with midterms coming and his relationship with Gyujin finally beginning to move forward. But he'd deal.

  
  


For Hwanhee, he'd do just about anything.

  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  


Kissing Gyujin certainly helps destress a little bit.

  
  


The two were in a slightly awkward, yet comfortable position between sitting and lying down on the couch in Changhyun's apartment, under a blue blanket, legs tangled together. There's a bowl of popcorn on the coffee table that was originally made as an accompanying snack for the  _ Star Trek _ marathon they had been watching, but both had been abandoned in favour of leisurely making out. 

  
  


The kisses are lazy, and tell stories of how difficult the first half of pre-midterms week had been, and how they'd like to continue this sweet moment so they don't have to get back to all of the stuff they really need to be stressing over. 

  
  


Changhyun's content; so content in fact, and so in love that he feels like it's physically pouring out of his body and filling the room. He's hyper-aware of the warmth of Gyujin's stomach against his, and the slow, easy slide of Gyujin's lips and tongue. Gyujin tastes amazing, vaguely like peanut butter, and when he hums against Changhyun's mouth, he feels himself loose his mind a little bit. 

  
  


Love clouds Changhyun's brain, and it's as though recognizing the feeling, or rather the collection of feelings, for what they were just amplified them. If colours were emotions, Changhyun thinks he'd be feeling iridescent pink, and he's glowing from the inside out; he can tell he's showing the pink a little bit because he can feel the heat on his chubby cheeks. 

  
  


Changhyun pulls back to say 

  
  


"I love you," to which Gyujin responds,

  
  


"I love you, too," and they keep kissing. 

  
  


The moment is absolutely lovely, so Changhyun is confused when he places a hand on Gyujin's hip, and he pulls away, sitting up completely. 

  
  


"I can't, Changhyun. I'm sorry, I just can't."

  
  


Changhyun quirks his head, and sits up as well. The blanket is forgotten on their laps. 

  
  


"I can't..." Gyujin's hands are resting on his closed knees, and he looks troubled. Immediately all Changhyun wants to do is take away that trouble.

  
  


"I can't have sex with you."

  
  


"Wait, you can't-"

  
  


"Oh no, it's not like I _ can't _ , it's just-," Gyujin takes a deep breath, and closes his eyes. Changhyun wraps his arm around his shoulders and pulls him in. 

  
  


"You don't have to tell me, don't worry."

  
  


"No," Gyujin turns his head and locks Changhyun into eye contact, "I want to. I trust you."

  
  


"Whenever you're ready, Jinnie."

  
  


Changhyun rubs circles into Gyujin's arm for what feels like years, until Gyujin starts.

  
  


"I was fourteen, the youngest freshman that year. I had this friend who was too popular for his own good. He had this hyung who used to sell weed recreationally, so he knew just about everybody. I had fun with this guy, and we were pretty close, but I never got close to his hyung. That was one creepy guy.

  
  


"School was fine for a while, great actually, until one day he told me he was throwing a party, with his hyung, a senior. I mean, I saw it coming; everyone had been pressuring them to have one all year, but it still caught me off guard. But I figured 'you know what, I'd better go while I'm young, and just have fun'."

  
  


Gyujin stops to take in a shaky breath, before continuing.

  
  


"So I go for the party, and sure enough, his hyung's there with some of his friends. I went to go find my friend, and we had fun for a little while, but I didn't drink, because I didn't want to."

  
  


Gyujin's eyes start filling up, and a tear falling feels like a stab in Changhyun's gut. He can't bring himself to look Gyujin in the eye any longer or he knows he'll start tearing up too. 

  
  


"I'm, uh, not exactly sure what happened that night, but all I know is I lost all memory at around the half way point, and I woke up the next morning-"

  
  


Gyujin stops to swallow a sob.

  
  


"I woke up the next morning sore, in my underwear, next to one of his hyung's friends."

  
  


The sobs start quickly, and Changhyun pulls Gyujin in so his head is at his chest. Tears soak through Changhyun's shirt, and leave a cold spot near his heart, and Changhyun presses a comforting kiss to Gyujin's head, wiping off the tears that spilled from his own eyes into Gyujin's hair. All he wants to do is hold him close, keep him from any kind of hurt. With every sob, Changhyun feels his heart shatter.

  
  


He loves Gyujin _ so much _ that it makes him sick to even think about anyone violating him in that way. All at once, he's glad he's never asked about proceeding physically with Gyujin, and he's also livid, ready to beat the living shit out of whoever it was that caused Gyujin this much hurt. 

  
  


Changhyun kisses his head again, this one long and reassuring, and he says, "I'll never let anything like that happen to you ever again. You're safe with me."

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did anybody pick up the homage in the library scene that i snuck in there?
> 
> also sorry for making wooseok seem terrible, he's not, i promise, just misguided (you'll find out next chapter)
> 
> (P.S. there may or may not be actual, not cockblocked smut in the next chapter)  
> (P.P.S. no promises)


	6. slow but sure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to hell, we've been expecting you (read: smut warning (not full blown anal tho))
> 
> theres some fluff/crack in here for fun as well, because gyutto dont need to always be stressed and deserve to enjoy one another

Progress did not happen overnight, that's for sure.

  
After Gyujin shared his story with Changhyun, he had been extra cautious to not initiate any sort of sexual activity, and while he could tell Gyujin appreciated that, it was becoming increasingly difficult.

  
Since the fight about the party, the two had made an unspoken decision to improve their communication with one another; Changhyun wanting no form of restriction so much, that he allowed Gyujin to drop the honorific, thus he was now affectionately referred to as 'Changhyunnie'. Gyujin was no longer apprehensive when he felt things were moving too fast, and now instead of freezing and/or shoving Changhyun, he would simply move his wandering hands, or pull away to say 'not yet'. Their relationship was the best it had ever been, but Changhyun still feels like he could lose his mind any day.

  
His case of blue balls was _**no joke**_.

  
Of course, there were the times when Gyujin was being overtly sexy, like doing girl-group dances with Yein, in a skirt, to which he would apologize and kiss Changhyun on the cheek for. Arguably the hardest (no pun intended) times for Changhyun were when Gyujin didn't even _realize_ he was being sexy. It was little habits that Changhyun had never noticed until now; the way he pouted and furrowed his brow when he got annoyed had a way of riling Changhyun up so much, that he may have subconsciously been seeking more Wooseok-Gyujin interactions than normal this week. But nothing could even hold a candle to Friday night.

  
Changhyun had been in the studio late that night finishing his remix of 90's American rap songs, and once he'd finally put the finishing touches on it, he couldn't wait to show Gyujin. The two had hung out alone in the studio late; Changhyun being a TA for freshman Musical Theory finally showing it had more to offer his life than self-righteous kids who thought they were everything just because they could play the recorder. On more than one occasion, he couldn't help but imagine what it would have been like to take Gyujin against the walls of the recording studio.

  
When Changhyun had played the track, Gyujin had closed his eyes and put both his hands onto the sides of his head, where the speakers for the large headphones were. He'd nodded his head _excruciatingly_ slowly, and bit his lip, before letting his mouth fall open and tipping his head back, exposing his neck. When the bass dropped, _good lord_. Gyujin had let out a big breath that explicitly showed the rise and fall of his chest, and Changhyun lost all rational thought patterns. All that ran through his brain was Gyujin; his bare, pale neck basically asking for Changhyun to mark it, what his rising chest would look like without his shirt in the way.

  
Changhyun had gotten so hard so fast, he'd thrown Gyujin a quick excuse that he had to pee (it was the first thing he could think of) and bolted out of the room.

  
It had also gotten increasingly difficult to masturbate at home, because Hwanhee was always there, and whenever he'd tried, he'd hear Hwanhee giggle through the wall, or something else equally disgusting enough to kill his hard-on.

  
It had only been a week, but Hwanhee and Wooseok dating had been such a disruption for Changhyun that he'd essentially decided to never view it with his own eyes, and had been spending more and more time in Gyujin and Yein's dorm, giving Gyujin more opportunity to be accidentally sexy, perpetuating the cycle.

  
It's now Tuesday again, and he's only home because he knows Hwanhee's busy working the late shift at the library. Two of his four midterms are over, and Changhyun flings himself onto his bed in exhaustion, his hat rolling off his head.

 

RE Gyujin <3: hey whatre you up to 21:41

Gyujin <3: studying; you know the drill :EI 21:41

RE Gyujin <3: k wtf is :EI 21:42

Gyujin <3: :p it's supposed to be the stressed face :0 i make my own emojis :] 21:42

RE Gyujin <3: how is :EI stressd 21:42

Gyujin <3: just go with it, it's cute like me B) 21:42

RE Gyujin <3: what did i marry into 21:43

Gyujin <3: we aren't married 21:43

RE Gyujin <3: not yet we arent 21:43

Gyujin <3: not yet ;) 21:44

Gyujin <3: hey, do you want to have a late night cram session? i'll bring popcorn 21:48

RE Gyujin <3: im down but you gotta come here 21:49

Gyujin <3: be there in 5, :* 21:50

  
True to his word, Gyujin did bring popcorn, but the better part of their 'late night cram session' ended up consisting of them throwing popcorn into each others mouths and getting it all over the floor and Changhyun's bed. By the time ten thirty rolls around, the two have no studying done, and are lying in Changhyun's bed, Changhyun's arm slung around Gyujin's shoulder lazily in comfortable silence, as Changhyun fights the temptation of sleep.

  
"Hey, Changhyunnie?" or is was silence.

  
"That's me."

  
"Can I- can I try something?"

  
"Whatever you want, Jinnie."

  
"So, I can just try anything?"

  
"Mmhmmm."

  
"Okay, well in that case-"

  
Changhyun's eyes snap open when Gyujin climbs to sit on top of Changhyun, so he's straddling his thighs. His hands rub up and down Changhyun's chest, before venturing to just underneath his shirt. Changhyun's stomach muscles clench instinctively, and he's not sure if it's in anticipation, or from too many postponed trips to the gym, or from Gyujin's touch against his skin. Gyujin's cheeks flush red as he continues to move his hands.

  
"I'm still not um... comfortable with the whole 'sex' thing, but with midterms and the whole 'Wooseok hyung-Hwanhee' drama, you seem kinda stressed so..."

  
He trails off, and slides his hand so it's resting at the waistband of Changhyun's sweatpants. Endorphins come flooding into Changhyun's brain so fast he thinks he can't see straight. It's embarrassing that he's already getting hard. He admittedly gets a bit overzealous, and when he moves to pull his shirt off, Gyujin (unfortunately) takes his hand out of Changhyun's pants to stop him.

  
"-wait-, not yet, I just," he takes a few deep breaths, then looks up and meets Changhyun's eyes, "I wanna do this for you, but I want to go slow."

  
Changhyun sits up completely so his back is against the headboard, maintaining eye contact. He can sense that Gyujin is a bit apprehensive, and though he's sexually frustrated, Gyujin's wellbeing comes first.

  
"Jinnie.., you don't have to do this if you aren't-"

  
"I want to. And I know you want me to as well."

  
"Yeah sure, I'll admit I've been a little.. wanky, but-"

  
He's cut off when Gyujin bursts out laughing.

  
"Wanky? Really Changhyunnie?"

  
"What? It's a perfectly legitimate word that describes how I've been."

  
"Of all the words in the known universe, the one that describes you is 'wanky'?"

  
"Yes. Think of it as a combination of 'wank' and 'cranky',"

  
"Oh my God, you're such a dork."

  
"The biggest of dorks, actually."

Gyujin laughs, and he's smiling so wide his eyes are reduced to crescents, filling up with the weight of his cheeks, and Changhyun _has_ to smile back. It actually becomes difficult for him to stop, because Gyujin won't stop, and he thinks he probably won't get off right now, but he doesn't care. A beat passes with the two grinning at each other, before Gyujin asks,

  
"So, back to the task at hand?"

  
"Only if you honestly want to."

  
"I do."

  
"Because I want you to, or because you genuinely want to, because I don't want-"

  
"Because I _genuinely_ want to, you big goof," which he proves when he plunges his hand further into Changhyun's sweats than they had previously been, tips of his fingers just brushing against Changhyun's dick. Gyujin makes eye contact again, and smirks while biting his lip. Changhyun feels himself twitch from the blood quickly running south.

  
Gyujin's ambitious hand makes its way under Changhyun's boxers and move down _so slowly_ that if Changhyun didn't know better, he'd have thought Gyujin was teasing him. Once Gyujin's palm finds the head of Changhyun's member, it stops.

  
"Whoa."

  
"What?"

  
"I can actually feel you getting hard."

  
"Yeah?"

  
"Yeah, the bloods really doing down there."

  
"That's kinda what makes it hard, Jinnie."

  
Gyujin chuckles. "I know _that_ , it's just weird feeling it on another person, that's all."

  
The only thing Changhyun retains is the image of Gyujin getting himself off, maybe getting adventurous enough to slide a hand around the back, and his dick twitches again. He's really getting hard quickly. Gyujin _finally_ moves his hand lower, and god bless sweatpants, he grabs a hold of Changhyun's growing member near the base and experimentally slides up, before sliding back down again. Changhyun feels the wind knocked straight out of his lungs. The contact is _so fucking good_ , that if Changhyun had any less self-control, he'd have come on the spot.

  
Gyujin starts to move his hand a little bit faster, and he experimentally squeezes lightly, eliciting a groan from Changhyun. He speeds up his movements again, starting a proper pace, to which Changhyun lets his head fall back, and lets loud exhales leave his lungs. Gyujin stops his movements for a moment in favour of putting his palm against Changhyun's balls and cupping them, making Changhyun release a choked moan and buck upwards.

  
"How did, _oh_ , how did you get so, so good at this?"

  
Gyujin shrugs. "I guess I practice on myself a lot."

  
Changhyun had plenty of self control; he controlled himself all the time from a variety of things, like smacking Wooseok upside the head when he deserved it, drinking too much, staying out too late, and being overprotective of Hwanhee to name a few. He didn't, evidently, have enough self control to keep himself from moaning out loud in response, and beginning to buck into Gyujin's hand.

  
Gyujin, bolder than Changhyun had expected in this situation, took the hint and repositioned his hand onto Changhyun's shaft and stroking fast, giving the base a little squeeze every once in a while. He was even cool with letting Changhyun thrust into his had for a bit as well.

  
Changhyun could feel himself getting close, the tight curling at the base of his stomach growing quickly.

  
"Jinnie, I'm ah, I'm close," he warns, and his eyes go wide when Gyujin stops to pull Changhyun's dick out completely, the cold air feeling incredible. His eyes widen further, to the point where it's probably comical when Gyujin leans down, and when he licks the slit, Changhyun is gone.

  
His orgasm knocks the vision out of his eyes, and it lasts longer than ever before; large beads of hot come spilling onto Gyujin's hand. Gyujin tugs him through the aftershocks slowly, Changhyun repeating Gyujin's name like a mantra, before his movements cease to a halt, and he lets go.

  
"So.... was that good?"

  
"Are you.. kidding.. me?" Changhyun's still catching his breath, "That was... so... fucking amazing. I love you."

  
Gyujin smiles, and curls up into Changhyun's side once he's tucked himself away. Changhyun goes back to lazily stroking circles into Gyujin's arm, and doesn't notice when they both drift off to sleep.

 

 


	7. hold him close

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: theres a touch of angst in here, and its mostly described through anxiety so tread cautiously
> 
> ITS LATE I KNOW IM SORRY but this is the longest chapter so far and i really wanted to fit everything into this one, as the story's gonna wind down soon
> 
> also sorry for abandoning wooseok, you'll find out more about him sooooon

Hwanhee's got an ache in his heart.

  
He's been pretending it has nothing to do with Wooseok, mostly so that he doesn't have to deal with it, but it's starting to get a little bit unbearable.

  
Don't get him wrong; Wooseok is _gorgeous_ , and finally dating him after wanting him for so long is not only gratifying, but is also a huge honour, it's just not exactly what he'd expected. Of course, he didn't know what to expect, seeing as he'd never had a boyfriend before Wooseok, if he can even consider Wooseok his boyfriend now.

  
Hwanhee had never even been kissed prior to five days ago, and kissing Wooseok was something he'd fantasized about since he was 14. They'd been talking about Changhyun's odd music taste before it happened, which led Wooseok to ask Hwanhee to sing him something he liked. Hwanhee had been slightly pitchy, his voice quivered here and there, and he'd modified the rhythms a little more than he wished he did, but as he sang, Wooseok stopped them mid stroll. The moment came, Wooseok had leaned in, and Hwanhee's heart kickstarted an unforgiving pace, thumping against his ribcage, which didn't stop even when he'd gone to bed that night, causing his heart to strain from exhaustion.

  
Hwanhee still hadn't stopped thinking about whether it was good, if Dongyeol saw, if anybody else saw and was going to tell Dongyeol, if it had looked alright, if anybody else had heard him singing all pitchy and off-key, if it had been as awkward as it felt, if Wooseok was thinking about it as much as he was, and his heart continued fluttering in his chest.

  
At first, it seemed like all Wooseok wanted to do was stroll around campus or hang out in his room, snapchatting each other, but since the first kiss there had been many, _many_ more, and it seemed like now all Wooseok wanted to do was make out, meaning less time for the campus strolls that were growing on Hwanhee a bit. Not that he'd say anything though; he didn't want to stir the pot, or make Wooseok realize that he's a bit of a brat too soon.

  
They talk about Changhyun a lot, him being a familiarity they both share, but they're cautious about oversharing and accidentally revealing their private version of Changhyun to the other, so the conversation is typically slightly rocky, but otherwise comfortable.

  
He's also starting to wonder why Wooseok hasn't asked to have sex with him yet. He has to admit, he's a little bit glad the subject hasn't arisen yet because he just knows if Wooseok asks, he's going to say yes, regardless of whether he's really ready, but it does bother him that Wooseok hasn't even attempted to initiate anything, especially because he knows _all_ the details about Dongyeol and Wooseok's rendezvous. He's fairly certain that Wooseok's odd behaviour is a result of the mysterious 'Sooil hyung' he'd been hearing about, but he had been starting to wonder if he was really providing any sort of gratification for Wooseok without sex.

  
For now, Hwanhee's decided to write himself off as 'not quite attractive enough to fuck, but adequate enough at kissing' for now, until Wooseok deems him worthy of fucking, to which he'll oblige. He doubts if he can truly be satisfying Wooseok without sleeping with him.

  
Hwanhee's also pissed because Changhyun's reservations about the two getting together had been correct; Hwanhee couldn't hold his own with Wooseok, and he could feel himself starting to chip around the outsides under the pressure. It sucked that his own brother didn't have any faith in him, but evidently he was justified, and this annoyance that contributes its own unhealthy twinge in Hwanhee's heart.

  
The thing that's truly causing Hwanhee's heart pain is the Dongyeol-sized hole that sits right in its centre. Dongyeol is his best friend, his partner in crime, his roommate, and it fucking sucks that he's being avoided by him right now. In Art History, Dongyeol now sits on the opposite side of the room, and in Sociology he doesn't even spare Hwanhee a glance.

  
It hurts.

  
Hwanhee had been aware that Dongyeol had also had feelings for Wooseok for a long time, a fact that had never caused a rift in their friendship until now, but Hwanhee doesn't understand why he's so bothered, especially because he'd been a supportive friend and a listening ear when Dongyeol and Wooseok hooked up, although it was difficult to listen to. It felt like somewhat of a betrayal.

  
Even though its only been a week, Hwanhee feels hopelessly underprepared for life without Dongyeol, never having thought it was a possibility in the past. They were two peas in a pod, and every argument had been resolved within an hour until this one. Hwanhee felt so out of place in everything he did, and he was feeling increasingly anxious in Dongyeol's absence. Little things that he'd never paid any mind to suddenly became the focus of all his attention, because he didn't have Dongyeol's optimistic hand squeezing his reassuringly.

  
It was the little things Hwanhee missed the most, like Dongyeol's fluffy hair in his face whenever they were play-wrestling, the harmony of Dongyeol's laugh with his, and Dongyeol's everlasting million watt smile.

  
Hwanhee feels lost, and he knows he looks it too, so recently he's been seeking refuge with his peer mentor Sungjun, who takes him out for ice cream almost every single time they met up. Sungjun is very good at distracting him, and Sungjun's new boyfriend Yein insists on stuffing Hwanhee with as much food as he can cook and gives such comforting hugs that Hwanhee thinks they may be one of the main reasons why Sungjun is dating him, but Hwanhee's still feeling Dongyeol's absence.

  
He's with them right now; Yein's singing a _My Chemical Romance_ song that seriously does not suit his soft, high pitched voice, while Sungjun's attempting to air guitar _and_ air drum along while eating skittles. It's almost 10:30 at night, and though Hwanhee has a midterm the next morning (those damn professors and they're obsession with tests on Wednesday's), he's camping out in the communal area for the residents of Hwanhee's floor, because he's waiting for Dongyeol to fall asleep. As much as he wants things to return to the way they were, he knows that if he initiates conversation, Dongyeol is just going to ignore him, and he'll just end up crying himself to sleep again.

  
He even skipped his shift at the library today; he's having Bin cover for him because despite his love for books, he just wasn't feeling up to dusting and sorting today.

  
The company is pleasant in the quaint environment of the communal room on Hwanhee's floor, but Hwanhee's completely preoccupied, dodging skittles halfheartedly, not even bothering to eat any discarded ones. Sungjun and Yein have only been together a couple days longer than Hwanhee and Wooseok, but they seem so happy and so content in each other's presence, no need to fake anything for other people's eyes. He can tell because their impromptu _My Chemical Romance_ cover both looks and sounds ridiculous, and they're receiving many odd looks from the other people in the room. Hwanhee doubts if Wooseok and himself will ever get to the point where they ad-lib emo band covers in public, and he doubts that making up the three days will have much of an effect.

  
Watching Yein and Sungjun have fun with each other makes the ache in his heart stronger, but it's Dongyeol he longs for, not Wooseok. He wonders if he can even be content in dating Wooseok without Dongyeol, but he's well aware that he doesn't have the willpower to break things off.

  
Though Hwanhee often finds himself worrying and over-thinking things, he's still a regular, bull-headed teenage boy. It's very difficult to come to terms with, but he realizes that at this point in his life, he should probably let go of his pride, and go talk to Changhyun. As much as he'd like to ball his hands into fists and stay mad for another week, he _really_ needs his hyung right now, so he bids Sungjun and Yein goodbye before heading to Changhyun's, praying Wooseok isn't home.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Changhyun feels like he's only just drifted off to sleep when he hears a knock at the front door.

  
Gyujin's still tucked under his right arm, and he looks _so cute_ when he's asleep that he's tempted to just yell for whoever it is to fuck off. His phone buzzes, and he's surprised to find it's Hwanhee.

  
baby brat: open th door im outside 22:49

RE baby brat: duck off its late 22:50

RE baby brat: *fuck 22:50

baby brat: hyung pls... 22:51

  
It's only because Changhyun knows that Hwanhee's here, instead of at the library where he's supposed to be, that Changhyun considers getting up.

  
RE baby brat: hang on 22:52

  
Changhyun groans internally, and begins wiggling himself out of bed, trying not to wake Gyujin. It doesn't work. Once he's up, Gyujin stirs; eyebrows furrowed, eyes still closed, and he stretches his arms forward as if waiting for Changhyun to climb back into them.

  
"Wha.." his voice is quiet and gravelly from sleep, and he's **_so fucking cute_** that Changhyun decides he's never hated Hwanhee more than in that moment.

  
"Jinnie, go back to sleep."

  
"Where..," he interrupts himself with a yawn, "where are you going?"

  
"Hwanhee's outside."

  
Gyujin fidgets until he's under the covers and closes his eyes again, ready to drift off.

  
"Well, you should tell him it's late, and that he should go to sleep."

  
"I think he knows it's late hun, I'm just going to find out what he wants."

  
"Mmkay, hurry back," Gyujin's voice already sounds as though he's only half conscious again, and he's tucked himself into what looks like a very comfortable and inviting position. Hwanhee'd better make this fast, Changhyun thinks.

  
Changhyun half walks, half stumbles to the front door, and he rubs his eyes in a meagre attempt to wake himself up a little bit more. He realizes belatedly that he might still have come on his sweatpants, but he ignores the thought and unlocks the door.

  
Hwanhee's got tears streaming down his face.

  
"Hyung...," is all he says, before rushing forward into Changhyun's embrace. Changhyun squeezes Hwanhee tight in his arms, trying to keep the dread from bubbling up in his chest when Hwanhee starts sobbing.

  
"Hyung it's so _hard_ ," Hwanhee says through his tears into Changhyun's shirt. He doesn't ask what is so hard, he just responds with

  
"I know, Hwanhee, I know."

  
Changhyun moves one of his hands so it's stroking Hwanhee's head. Hwanhee's hurt hurts him so much, and he wishes his hugs could absorb it form Hwanhee's body like a vacuum. His brother was a little brat; he pranked too often and whined when he didn't get his way, but he was still Changhyun's little brother, and he loved him. Seeing Hwanhee cry like this was so out of character it was almost jarring.

  
"Why is it so hard, hyung? Why doesn't he want me?"

  
Hwanhee sobs harder, and Changhyun keeps stroking his hair while Hwanhee's tears soak through his shirt. His voice sounds so broken, so sad, and his breath won't stop hitching. Changhyun wonders how long Hwanhee's been feeling like this, and if their argument a week prior had contributed to him not talking to Changhyun sooner. All of a sudden, Changhyun feels like a terrible hyung. He's not letting Hwanhee make any decisions without him anymore.

  
"I think... I think I love him, hyung, but why doesn't he want me?"

  
Hwanhee's crying so hard he's almost bawling, and Changhyun can't think to do anything except rub his back and shush him delicately until he calms down. It takes at least twenty minutes, but it works, Hwanhee being reduced to sniffles and the occasional whimper. His body's still shaking though, but Changhyun thinks that might just be from the cold, so he coaxes Hwanhee to go to his room, and he shuts the door.

  
Though he's fully dressed, Changhyun doesn't let Hwanhee do anything except wiggle into bed next to Gyujin, who doesn't give any indication of consciousness except for him draping an arm around Hwanhee's shivering body. Changhyun closes the sandwich when he gets in bed, and falls asleep with Hwanhee's tearstained face on his shoulder, and the decision to find out what's hurting his brother so much in the morning.

 

"...Hyung?"

  
"Yes, Hwanhee?" Changhyun's already drifting off.

  
"Why is the bed damp?"

  
Changhyun freezes and his eyes snap wide open.

  
"Go to sleep, Hwanhee."

 

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

  
Wooseok's a little bit cold, and the wind is doing a bang-up job of sucking all the moisture from his face.

  
He's on his way home from play rehearsal, and he's starting to wish he had just ditched like he'd wanted to in the first place because no buses ran so late, meaning he had to walk. His fingers are going numb from the tips as cold penetrates his body, so he decides to take a detour to the coffeehouse for a warm drink before he heads home.

  
He hopes Minsoo isn't there.

  
Ever since the party, when he unceremoniously threw up on Dongyeol's shoes, he's been avoiding all eye witnesses as much as he can in an attempt to save face a little bit. He's not sure Minsoo saw, but he's sure there were more than enough eager people willing to give him a full description of how Wooseok had hurled on some kid. Also if Minsoo knew, Sooil probably knew too.

  
Fucking Sooil.

  
He still had yet to come face to face with Sooil, but he'd been a little bit on edge since Sungjun's party, as if he's expecting Sooil to jump from the shadows and catch him off-guard. It's a little bit disappointing that he's had to avoid Minsoo recently; his body is seriously feeling the caffeine withdrawal, especially during midterms, but he knows if he engages in conversation, Minsoo could bring up Sooil like he normally does, and Wooseok would give himself away.

  
It had been fine before, listening to Minsoo go on about his partner (is what he called him), a graduate medical student in the Kinesiology field who's _so_ handsome and _so_ sexy, mostly to curb Wooseok's advances more than anything else, but now that Wooseok could put a face; his ex-boyfriend's face, to the name, he didn't think he could listen to it.

  
Wooseok's got his fingers crossed when he enters the coffeehouse, he thinks he's in the clear when he sees bright red hair instead of Minsoo's dark brown.

  
Minsoo's dyed his hair red. Fuck.

  
Perhaps I can duck out, Wooseok thinks, he might not see me if I keep my head down and-

  
"Wooseok! I don't imagine you're here for your usual at this time of night?"

  
Wooseok cringes internally and looks up. Gosh, he really looks good with red hair, almost as good as Wooseok himself when his hair was red. Wooseok sends a mental curse to Sooil for snatching up the world's most perfect man. He notices he wouldn't have had a chance of escaping, since the coffeehouse is empty except for the two.

  
"Heeey Minsoo hyung, no, I'm not here for a coffee, but maybe something sweet? Could you flash me that smile of yours?

  
Minsoo laughs, and Wooseok feels dirty. He's only flirting to pretend nothing has changed, and that he hasn't realized that Minsoo's with his ex.

  
"Wooseok-ah, when will you learn?"

  
"Learn what? I'm just being friendly."

  
"I have a boyfriend."

  
"Yeah, and now so do I."

  
"Oh you do? That's great! Good for you."

  
Minsoo starts preparing a drink, even though Wooseok hasn't specified which one he wants yet.

  
"How long have you been together?"

  
"Only a week."

  
"Aww, that's so cute. Getting a lot of action, I presume?"

  
"Ahhh, no. He's a umm, he's a virgin."

  
"Not for long, eh?"

  
Wooseok shrugs.

  
"I remember when hyung and I first got together," oh no, here it is, "we couldn't keep our hands off each other."

  
"Ahhh that's, ok um, cool." Wooseok's brain fights with the image of Minsoo and Sooil, doing things _he_ and Sooil did. He almost wants to shudder; Minsoo's probably so much better than he was.

  
"Everything alright, Wooseok? You seem kind of off."

  
"Yeah, I'm good, it's just..."

  
Wooseok trails off when he hears the bell on the door jingle, signifying another person entering the room.

  
"Sooil!"

  
Shit.

  
"Hey babe, I brought chicken."

  
_Shit._

  
"Ugh, I love you so much. Oh, I was just telling Wooseok about you; Wooseok, this is Sooil."

  
**_SHIT._ **

  
"I know." Wooseok takes a deep breath, his heart his pounding out of control. "We've met."

  
"Kim Wooseok, is that you?"

  
Wooseok turns to face Sooil. Every ounce of his being is telling him to ditch whatever drink Minsoo is making him and just leg it home. He takes a minute to take in Sooil's appearance; still tall and handsome like he remembers, but he's wearing square glasses which is new, and his black hair is shorter, and swept out of his face. He's got this look on his face as though he's actually surprised to see Wooseok, and it breaks into a welcoming smile as he outstretches his arms, waiting for Wooseok to come hug him.

  
That was the thing about Sooil; it's so easy to get sucked in, to want him to love you. Wooseok can feel his fifteen year old self fighting against his current twenty-one year old self to succumb to the hug. Fifteen year old Wooseok wins.

  
"It's been so long, wow, you grew up really well."

  
Sooil releases him and Wooseok smiles shyly, keeping his eyes on his shoes.

  
"Wooseok and I used to date," Sooil says to Minsoo, who's now finished Wooseok's drink.

  
"Oooh should I be jealous?"

  
Sooil laughs a deep, hearty laugh. Wooseok cracks a small smile, and he's itching to leave. He decides he isn't obligated to stay here and entertain Minsoo or Sooil.

  
"This was nice, it was... great seeing you again Sooil, but I've got to run."

  
He retrieves his drink and goes to pay, but Minsoo vehemently insists it's on the house. He's almost free, _so close,_ when Sooil calls out.

  
"Wooseok-ah, we should keep in touch. Same number?"

  
Wooseok flashes yet another fake smile and nods, before departing as quickly as he can, as subtly as he can. The warm drink does nothing to soothe his shivers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for clarification: this all takes place on the same night as the last chapter
> 
> also I LOVE HWANHEE SO MUCH, and i promise jinhoo will make an appearance at the end so dont loose hope for him
> 
> feel free to yell at me in the comments (i love it)


	8. fresh love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writers block+exams=late 
> 
> im really sorry and ive made this long and eventful to make up for it
> 
> tw: some seriously self-deprecative angst in here (its just a teaspoon though)

Yein doesn't understand how he became a baby-sitter. 

  
  


Well, technically he knows the events leading up to his current situation, but while he's always had a bit of a maternal instinct, he has to say, he's bloody exhausted. 

  
  


After a particularly tedious coding exam the afternoon prior, all Yein had wanted to do was spend time cuddling with his new boyfriend, but Sungjun's subordinate Hwanhee had essentially latched onto his ankles for the majority of the day. Don't get him wrong, Yein loved Hwanhee and thought he was adorable, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't the tiniest bit glad when Hwanhee retired for the night. 

  
  


It wasn't like Hwanhee had been much of a burden, it was just that the presence of another person meant that there were certain things they couldn't do. Sungjun definitely did his best to make up for lost time. 

  
  


When Yein woke up that morning slightly sore and extremely satisfied, he'd planned on cuddling( ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) a naked Sungjun in bed until his exam at six, but he received a call from Gyujin and Sungjun received a call from Changhyun, both panicking because they both had morning exams and nobody to watch Hwanhee.

  
  


Yein didn't even know why Hwanhee, a self-sufficient eighteen year old boy, needed someone to watch him, but having spent only two hours with him, he gets it now. 

  
  


That boy was like a tornado; hot and cold mixing together in the most unwelcome of combinations. At least he's got Sungjun with him.

  
  


At first, Hwanhee had just sat in the corner of the couch, hugging a pillow, making no noise, and Yein thought this afternoon would end up consisting of him and Sungjun enjoying Changhyun and Wooseok's lavish apartment, checking on Hwanhee once every hour to make sure he wasn't dead. Of course, that was not how the afternoon went.

  
  


At the fourty five minute mark, Hwanhee went positively berserk. Yein had just  _ barely  _ placed his hand on Sungjun's knee, but it seemed that action was enough to break the emotional dam inside Hwanhee, who immediately jumped up from his spot on the couch and started yelling incoherent words; Yein picked up 'Wooseok', 'Dongyeol', 'slut', and to his surprise 'fucking idiot'. Sungjun (bless his heart) had tried to calm Hwanhee down from where he was sitting, but it only served to fire him up even more, and both he and Yein had to leap to their feet to keep Hwanhee from punting a lamp across the room. It was only the promise of pancakes that calmed him down.

  
  


Now Yein's hands are shaking as he mixes the eggs into the batter while Hwanhee aggressively paces behind him. Sungjun, who's learned his lesson about showing affection, is standing by the fridge, his thumb hovering over the screen of his phone, ready to call for back-up if necessary. 

  
  


Once the pancakes are (rather shoddily) done, Hwanhee nods his thanks and starts shovelling them into his mouth. It's silent, except for the occasional sinister sound of Hwanhee tearing into a new pancake, and the faint sound of Yein's own heart slamming against the walls of his chest. He doesn't really know what he'll do once the pancakes are finished.

  
  


The doorbell rings. Yein holds his breath, and he hears Sungjun inhale sharply when Hwanhee slams his syrup-covered fork down on the table. Time stops, waiting in anticipation as Hwanhee crosses the room with his shoulders raised and steps slow. 

  
  


Behind the door is a freshman Yein has never personally met, but seen around campus frequently. He's quite handsome, with his full bottom lip and fluffy black hair, and Yein assumes he has some significance when Hwanhee's demeanour transforms instantly.

  
  


"You didn't come home last night," thick, syrupy tension fills the air, "I was worried."

  
  


It's silent; too silent. Hwanhee's shoulders have dropped now, and he hasn't moved. Yein is about to invite the boy inside and is just standing up, when Hwanhee's yell breaks his train of thought.

  
  


"LEE FUCKING DONGYEOL!" Everybody flinches. "You were  _ worried _ ? You had sex with Wooseok, ignored me for a week, made me feel like complete shit, and you were  _ worried _ ?"

  
  


Yein scurries over to shut the front door, not wanting to disturb whatever neighbours Changhyun and Wooseok had that would still be home at eleven thirty on a Wednesday. Hwanhee pays no mind to him, and starts beating his fists on Dongyeol's chest.

  
  


"Best friends. We're supposed to be best friends; you aren't supposed-"

  
  


"-Hwanhee-"

  
  


"-to hurt me like that. Do you know what that did to me? Having you just-"

  
  


"-Hwanhee please-"

  
  


"-ignore me no matter what I did? Don't you get that I-"

  
  


"HWANHEE."

  
  


"What?!" Dongyeol grabs both of Hwanhee's wrists to stop him from hitting him.

  
  


"I've... I haven't been completely honest with you."

  
  


"Well, of course you haven't; given your track record, I'm surprised we've been friends for as long as-"

  
  


"-I'm not into Wooseok."

  
  


Yein starts a little bit when he feels Sungjun's hand on the small of his back; he hadn't heard him get up in the midst of the yelling. It's comforting to feel Sungjun's support, even though Yein's not very scared anymore.

  
  


"...Then why did you-"

  
  


"-It's you, Hwan-ah, I love  _ you _ ."

  
  


Yein gasps and has to slap a hand to his mouth to muffle the sound. He doesn't want to ruin the moment by reminding them of his presence. When Hwanhee speaks again, the fight has left his voice.

  
  


"..you... what?"

  
  


"I love you, and I hated the thought of you wanting Wooseok so I hated him for a while, but I got paired with him for an Art History project, and we ended up having some  _ incredible _ hate sex but I was thinking about you the whole time and I didn't want you to be sad so I broke it off, and I didn't want him to be pissed but then he puked on my shoes so screw him, and then I heard he asked you out and I was super mad, but not because I like him, but because I love you; I love  _ you _ , Hwan-ah."

  
  


Sungjun's now back-hugging Yein, whose amazed that Dongyeol was able to say all of that in one breath. He's watching Hwanhee now, his eyes are wide, looking up into his best friends through his fringe.

  
  


"Dongyeol I...," tears fall, "I love you too."

  
  


And then Dongyeol is scooping Hwanhee off the ground by his waist and Yein has to cover his mouth with his other hand as well to keep from cooing, gasping, crying, or all of the above as he watches the two share their first kiss. Sungjun squeezes him delicately from behind, and he lets his head fall back against his strong chest. Freshmen are so cute.

  
  


The sound of keys jiggling in a lock jolts the four of them back into reality. Hwanhee's feet meet the floor again.

  
  


It's just Changhyun and Gyujin relieving Yein and Sungjun of their duties. They greet cordially, but Yein can't help but notice that Dongyeol hasn't let go of Hwanhee yet. 

  
  


"Hyung, guess what?!" Hwanhee asks excitably, as though Changhyun can't deduce what's happened, and even though Yein can tell he can put two and two together, he still replies with,

  
  


"I don't know, what?"

  
  


"Dongyeol and I made up; well...," Dongyeol kisses Hwanhee's cheek. "we kind of more than made up."

  
  


Changhyun throws his head back and laughs out loud triumphantly, before enthusiastically shaking Dongyeol's hand.

  
  


"Dongyeol-ssi, you've done well. If you need anything from hyung, just ask, okay?"

  
  


Dongyeol laughs too, and blushes before replying.

  
  


"Yes, Changhyun-ssi-"

  
  


"-Changhyun  _ hyung _ -"

  
  


"-Changhyun hyung." 

  
  


Sungjun speaks from behind Yein, making everybody aware of his presence for the first time.

  
  


"I hate to break up the fun, but what about Wooseok?"

  
  


"Yeah, what about me?"

  
  


Every head turns to the front door, where Wooseok is standing, arms crossed, looking extremely displeased.

  
  


Oh crap.

  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
  


Wooseok's having a shitty day.

  
  


Getting home as late as he did last night made it incredibly difficult for him to drag himself out of bed in the morning as early as he had to. He'd had to grab an orange and hurry off to his early morning exam before Changhyun or even the sun rose.

  
  


The sleep deprivation made it  _ unbelievably _ difficult to sight-read the music for his exam, and he's certain he's pulled a 60% at best. 

  
  


What get's him through the morning is the idea that he'll get to see Hwanhee later. It's a bit embarrassing to admit, considering he'd initially started dating Hwanhee to get Dongyeol's attention, but he's actually fallen for the short freshman. He realized the only reason he'd truly wanted Dongyeol was because he rejected him, and none of Wooseok's prior hook-ups had ever done that. Everyone had always wanted more, but while Wooseok was lonely, he was selective. Dongyeol was immediately intriguing when he pushed Wooseok aside.

  
  


Not that it mattered anymore; Hwanhee's the one he wants now. Hwanhee's voice is like a strong cup of steaming coffee, and his lips are soft, tasting like cherry candy when they kiss. Wooseok craves Hwanhee, wants to kiss him every hour of every day, and he's truly happy. He's finally got a boyfriend he really likes, even though things didn't go exactly to plan.

  
  


That's why Wooseok is a little bit more than annoyed to see Dongyeol with his arms around  _ his _ Hwanhee when he gets home. Not to mention how everybody (why were there so many people in his apartment?) seems to become immediately uncomfortable once they notice him.

  
  


"Wooseok, hey!" Sungjun says in a feeble attempt to break tension, "we were just on our way." He grabs Yein's hand and drags him out of the front door, closely followed by Gyujin, whose probably decided he doesn't need to deal with this drama. It's just Changhyun, Dongyeol, Hwanhee and Wooseok now. Wooseok's heart is pounding at a relentless pace; he knows he isn't going to like whatever it is judging by the looks on everybody's faces. 

  
  


"...Hyung,I-," Hwanhee (finally) lets go of Dongyeol and moves so he's facing Wooseok, making direct eye contact. It's more than a little bit unnerving.

  
  


"Well, what is it?"

  
  


"I-"

  
  


"-He's with me now," Dongyeol chimes in. He vaguely registers the sound of Changhyun face palming. 

 

Wooseok feels his head start to spin. This can't be happening, not right now. Hwanhee's all he wants; Hwanhee's voice, Hwanhee's laugh, Hwanhee's smile. It isn't fair. 

  
  


"I think what Dongyeol means to say is, the resolution of their friendship ended up...."

  
  


Wooseok doesn't hear the rest of Changhyun sentence. Wooseok can't really hear anything with his world crumbling around him. 

  
  


He'd been  _ so lonely _ for  _ so long _ , and though he'd known Hwanhee for ages, he'd never properly appreciated him. All that time spent ignoring him in pursuit of other guys was such a waste; he could have been getting to know Hwanhee better and maybe right now Hwanhee would be choosing him instead of Dongyeol. All those years, Hwanhee had never been anything more that Changhyun's annoying kid brother, but getting to know what a sweet, studious, fun-loving person he was changed everything. 

  
  


Hwanhee's eyes are searching his, and he can see the remorse that lies behind them. 

  
  


He could understand now why Changhyun didn't want to sleep around anymore. Once his heart had latched onto someone else's, the lack of sex didn't even matter. Intimacy was expressed in lingering eyes, the softest of kisses, little boops on their nose, little actions that expresses love over lust. Wooseok got it, and when he was with Hwanhee, he didn't even miss sex. All he'd wanted was to flood Hwanhee with these little actions; to pour love all over him.

  
  


Wooseok's heart is shattering, and the pain is amplified when he realizes that no one else thinks he's feeling it. His eyes are fixed on the floor and he's desperately trying to suppress fifteen year-old Wooseok, who wants to start crying. Once again, fifteen year-old Wooseok wins, and he rips his eyes away from Hwanhee's before departing to his room. 

  
  


The door shuts calmly; fifteen year-old Wooseok has started staking his claim in twenty-one year-old Wooseok's brain, flooding it with the ideas of no self-worth of the past.  _ Sooil-hyung was right to treat you the way he did,  _ he thinks, _ you aren't worth anything besides sex _ .

  
  


_ You tried with a real relationship; look where it got you. Changhyun isn't like you. Changhyun's worth so much more than you and that's why he's found someone. You? You're a toy. All Sooil wanted out of you was sex; that's all anyone ever wants out of you. Who do you think you are? Do you really think you deserve Hwanhee? _

  
  


_ You're useless. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first off HOW INCREDIBLE IS WHITE NIGHTS? i wish i could freak out about it in person with all of you, but i can't, so know that gyujin looks incredible, and the song and choreography is amazing; the best yet.
> 
> whaddaya think of xiaohee, huh? did i do that plot twist well? and what about poor wooseok? are ya ready for more smut? (hint: these are all things you can yell at me about in the comments)


	9. sweet lovin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no im not dead, just terrible and late
> 
> im making up for it by putting full, proper fluffy smut in this chapter
> 
> ill try to be faster with updates (i wasnt expecting this one to take so damn long) but schools really draining me rn
> 
> that being said, enjoy!

A slightly smushed pink cupcake is the perfect start to Gyujin's birthday, or at least that's what he thinks.

  
  


Yein had given it to him when he'd first woken up, along with him and Sungjun singing an odd mash-up of  _ For He's a Jolly Good Fellow _ , and the birthday song. It's vanilla, his favourite, and it makes for a satisfactory breakfast on his way to Applied Chemistry. He runs into Hwanhee on the journey, who talks his ear off about all the stuff he can do now that he's nineteen, which admittedly is a lot more than Gyujin had realized (apparently now, it's legal for him to drink in every province in Canada). Dongyeol joins them on the way to his Sociology lecture, and gives Hwanhee a greeting kiss and one of two muffins, before slipping into the conversation with ease. 

  
  


In the middle of class, he's frantically doing his best to keep Hwanhee from grabbing at whatever chemicals he can get his hands on, when he gets a text from Changhyun.

  
  


Changhyunnie: and it was on this day 19 yrs ago that a legend was born, and his name is     09:03

  
  


Changhyunnie: HAN    09:03

  
  


Changhyunnie: GYUJINNNNN    09:03

  
  


RE: Changhyunnie: oh my god youre such a dork    09:04

  
  


Changhyunnie: hey u chose me    09:04

  
  


Changhyunnie: but seriously tho HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!     09:04

  
  


RE: Changhyunnie: thank youuu :3    09:05

  
  


Changhyunnie: since 19 is so special     09:05

  
  


RE: Changhyunnie: is it really though      09:05

  
  


Changhyunnie: whaddaya say we do something fun today?     09:05

  
  


RE: Changhyunnie: what do you have in mind     09:06

  
  
  
  
  
  


It turns out what Changhyun had in mind was a lovely lunch date at the Italian place down the street, followed by a performance by some niche indie band, and a walk in the snow back to Changhyun's apartment holding hands and chatting, sharing yet another vanilla cupcake (green this time). 

  
  
  
  


Gyujin really values the time he spends with Changhyun. He doesn't mention it often, but aside from Hwanhee, Yein, and now Sungjun, Gyujin didn't have a lot of friends, and being two years younger than the rest of the third years made it difficult to fit in. Gyujin, being a self-proclaimed respectful person, had always addresses his peers as 'hyung' or 'noona', which immediately created a barrier every time. Having skipped first and then twelfth grade meant Gyujin had spent almost his entire life being looked down on by his classmates, until Changhyun, of course, who's gone so far as to let him drop the honorific altogether.

  
  
  
  


Gyujin's fucking  _ in love _ . Changhyun's the perfect marriage of adorable and manly; quite like a rather butch teddy bear, if it wore snapbacks all the time and forgot to shave every once in a while. Changhyun's perfect for both when Gyujin wants to cuddle, and when he wants to be cuddled, and is always accommodating. He's outgoing, oozing charisma, and has the  _ cutest _ cheeks that Gyujin wants to spend eternity squeezing, especially right now, since they're tinted slightly pink from the cold.  

  
  
  
  


When they arrive at Changhyun's apartment complex, Changhyun looks up (one centimetre) into Gyujin's eyes, and kisses him so softly that heat rushes into his cheeks. He tastes icing and coffee on Changhyun's lips, and it fills him with such a sense of security that it gives him an idea. 

  
  
  
  


"Hey Changhyunnie," Changhyun squeezes his hand.

  
  
  
  


"Hey Gyujinnie."

  
  
  
  


"Do you think I could," Gyujin swallows down the anxiety that bubbles up, "do you think I could come in for a bit? I want to  _ try something _ ."

  
  
  
  


Changhyun's eyes light up at the code word, and they're in his room in a flash, jackets shed somewhere on the journey.

  
  
  
  


They've been through this process enough times to have built up a routine; every time Gyujin decides he wants to  _ try something _ , Changhyun knows to lie back and let him take control, not pushing him to do anything more or overstepping any boundaries. It's a system that works very well and in the past week, they've made some decent progress: multiple hand jobs, the occasional frottage, they'd definitely crossed a barrier on Saturday when Gyujin blew Changhyun for the first time. 

  
  
  
  


Those were all fun, but Gyujin doesn't want any of that today. He wants the real deal; the full, proper rounding of home base. Hopefully he can work up the courage to get it done. 

  
  
  
  


Changhyun's assumed his usual position, and when Gyujin straddles his hips, Changhyun runs his hands up and down Gyujin's arms. Gyujin's prepared for this in advance a lot; he's lost more weight than he needed to, he started going for a yoga class to improve his flexibility, and he's even familiarized himself with the terrifying world of enemas, but he didn't prepare for this nervous feeling in his chest.

  
  
  
  
  
  


"You okay?"

  
  
  
  


"Yeah just, just nervous that's all."

  
  
  
  


"Well, I'm ready when you are, take your time."

  
  
  
  
  
  


And then Gyujin realizes that Changhyun  _ gets it _ , and he's going to be patient. He's filled with a new kind of adoration for Changhyun, something similar to utmost security in his presence, and he knows he can trust Changhyun not to hurt him.

  
  
  
  


"Changhyunnie, I-" he takes a breath, "I wanna go all the way, but I think-" deep breath, "I want you to take over right about now."

  
  
  
  


"Stop me whenever," is all Changhyun says, before grabbing Gyujin's hips and flipping them over so he's on top. He leans down and kisses Gyujin deeply and firmly, and Gyujin's extremely aware of how close their crotches are in proximity to each other. For a little while, all they do is kiss, but Changhyun's really showing his dominance by taking full control and his tongue's staking it's claim wherever it wants in Gyujin's mouth. He flicks his tongue against the underside of Gyujin's, pulling a breathy whimper from behind it. The long kiss eventually evolves into multiple short, hard kisses, and Changhyun finds a way to pull Gyujin's shirt off in between the staccato. 

  
  


Changhyun's shirt takes a tiny bit more work, so the rhythm of the kisses is broken while they both turn their full attentions to getting it off. They manage to yank it off with some effort, and Changhyun immediately starts venturing south on Gyujin's body, kissing down his neck and chest. Gyujin's certain Changhyun can feel how hard his heart is beating against his lips.

  
  
  
  


Changhyun's hands rub all over Gyujin's torso, as if to marinate him with reassurance. It works, but it puts the image of thanksgiving turkey in his head. 

  
  
  
  


"So perfect," Changhyun says as he rubs a hand cleanly over one of Gyujin's nipples. Gyujin gasps and arches into the touch. "God, I love you Jinnie." Gyujin lets his eyes fall closed, lets Changhyun's words pour over him. The mid afternoon sun is licking at Gyujin's feet, and Changhyun's hands are massaging the muscles in Gyujin's chest, both making him feel perfectly warm and content. There's no heaviness left in his heart anymore. All he wants is Changhyun; all he wants is  _ this _ .

  
  
  
  


One of Changhyun's hands reaches the waistband of Gyujin's jeans, and he stops his movements completely, raising an eyebrow, asking for the green light. The fact that Gyujin's already given him permission but he's asking again makes Gyujin's heart swell. He nods his consent, and Changhyun makes quick work of dragging down his trousers and underwear.

  
  
  
  


Talk about abrupt.

  
  


Gyujin's completely naked so quickly, his first instinct is to cover himself with his limbs or the duvet, but Changhyun's giving him  _ this look _ , like he's the most beautiful person in the entire world, and it's what keeps him still. He's reminded once again that Changhyun wouldn't hurt him, that Changhyun's doing this all for him.

  
  
  
  


He doesn't know when Changhyun grabbed the lube, but all of a sudden he smells synthetic strawberry and feels something cold at the top of his hardening cock. 

  
  
  
  


"Sorry, it's cold."

  
  
  
  


"Yeah, no shit." 

  
  
  
  


"Here, I'll warm it up a little bit," Changhyun says, as he slides his hand slowly down Gyujin's length. Gyujin feels a shiver run down his spine and Changhyun drags his hand back up, before bringing it back down again. A line of lube slides its way down one of Gyujin's balls and it's so good, even better than eating peanut butter straight from the jar. Changhyun then starts sucking at the head, and Gyujin has to bite his lip and grip the sheets to keep from lifting his hips.

  
  
  
  


Gyujin gasps out loud when Changhyun wriggles a cold finger against his opening, and Changhyun freezes completely. He raises an eyebrow, and Gyujin nods frantically, willing to do basically anything to get Changhyun to continue. He does. One finger soon becomes two, and then the stretch of three has Gyujin whining so loud he'd be a little bit embarrassed if he could bring himself to care. He can't seem to bring himself to think of anything except Changhyun's fingers against his walls, purposefully dodging that one spot inside him. Changhyun starts stretching Gyujin open and the sensations are starting to drive Gyujin a bit crazy. He curls his toes and digs his heels into the sheets and if Changhyun doesn't stop soon he's going to come way too quickly.

  
  
  
  


"Ahhh-hh, Changhyun I-I'm ready." He presses a kiss to the inside of Gyujin's thigh.

  
  
  
  


"Are you sure?" More vigorous nodding, "Okay, stop me whenever."

  
  
  
  


It seems Changhyun was able to get his own pants off without Gyujin noticing, because the next thing Gyujin feels is the wet tip of Changhyun's thick cock prodding at his entrance. Gyujin holds his breath and tenses his entire body in anticipation, only to have Changhyun pull away.

  
  
  
  


"Relax Jinnie, I got you." Changhyun starts massaging Gyujin's chest again, and it's a very effective distraction until Changhyun pushes all the way in, until he's buried to the hilt. A loud, desperate sound manages to fight its way out of Gyujin. Changhyun's so properly  _ deep _ inside, and the stretch is oddly satisfying. 

  
  
  
  


It takes a few moments, but now that Changhyun's ball's deep, Gyujin's ready to get this show on the road, and he wiggles his hips a little bit so that Changhyun will get the hint. Changhyun (bless him) just takes hold of Gyujin's hand, and smiles the biggest smile down at him, and Gyujin just  _ has _ to smile back. He leans down to kiss Gyujin softly and lovingly, and Gyujin forgets everything except for Changhyun's lips, Changhyun's dick buried inside him, Changhyun's hair tickling his forehead,  _ Changhyun _ .

  
  
  
  


They're like that for a little while, just basking in the purity of the other when Gyujin feels Changhyun's cock twitch. Changhyun's most likely felt it too, as he starts slowly rocking his hips, pulling out just a little bit further every time until after a few thrusts, he freezes, the head of his cock  _ barely _ inside Gyujin. It drives Gyujin  _ mad _ . He groans out loud before saying,

  
  
  
  


"Changhyunnie, I appreciate you being gentle and everything but you can go faster."

  
  
  
  


"Are you sure? I don't wanna hurt you."

  
  
  
  


"Trust me, it's fine. It's not like I'm a virg-"

  
  
  
  


"-You are."

  
  
  
  


"But I-"

  
  
  
  


Changhyun interrupts by leaning down and kissing him again, and Gyujin's about to assume Changhyun's completely ignored him when he slides his length all the way back in, and Gyujin moans shamelessly into Changhyun's mouth.

  
  
  
  


Slowly but surely, Changhyun works up a pace. It's not agonizingly slow, but it isn't break-neck speed at the same time; just enough to keep driving soft sounds out of Gyujin. At some point, he'd shut his eyes, and he's just enjoying the sensation of Changhyun being so close to him. 

  
  
  
  


Changhyun's pace gradually begins to accelerate, to the point where they have to break the kiss because they're panting so hard. This gives Changhyun the opportunity to seek better leverage, so he repositions his hand to behind Gyujin's shoulder and starts giving it all he's got. The new angle has him driving straight at the sweet spot inside Gyujin, and he involuntarily squeezes Changhyun's hand and curls his toes. He doesn't understand how Changhyun's making him make all this damn noise, but it's so good, it's  _ so good. _

  
  
  
  


Changhyun's sweat is dripping down his nose onto Gyujin's. His is pace getting harder and faster with every breath, and Gyujin's projected time left before coming gets shorter with every thrust. Being the dork that he is, he takes a moment to consider how he would represent this kind of inverse relationship on a graph (probably some kind of a linear decline), before a direct hit to his prostate sends shockwaves down his spine. His back arches up, and he grabs Changhyun's bicep with his free arm, releasing another unabashed moan that breaks into a sob. 

  
  
  
  


"Good?" Changhyun pants out, to which Gyujin enthusiastically nods back, grinding his hips down to meet Changhyun's. "Good," and then (if you can believe it) the pace picks up some more, and Gyujin keens and bites his lip, digging his nails into Changhyun's back.

  
  
  
  


Everything's so hot and it's so fast and hard they're still holding hands and the head of Changhyun's cock keeps pressing at his prostate and Changhyun has this concentrated look on his face that's so sexy and-

  
  
  
  


"Changhyun, Changhyun  _ oh god _ I-I'm close."

  
  
  
  


Changhyun nods his head and his thrusts get harder, so much so that the headboard starts slamming the wall, adding yet another sinful noise to the symphony of Gyujin's own moans, some of Changhyun's discrete ones and the sound of skin slapping against skin. 

  
  


Gyujin then feels Changhyun wrap a hand around his own neglected cock, and he somehow manages to keep his thrusts at twice the tempo of his hand movements. Gyujin can basically feel himself losing his mind, and he's so close; if Changhyun would just speed up a little bit and-

  
  


_ Oh. _

  
  


Now Gyujin's always thought he would be very good at keeping his voice down when the time came for sex. Having a little brother at home, and now having a roommate as innocent as Yein is (or was, depending on how much Sungjun's corrupted him) meant that Gyujin had to get very good at quiet masturbation, but when Changhyun makes him come, good lord, he's sure everybody south to the Philippenes heard him. Somehow he can't get himself to stop repeating 'oh my god' and 'fuck Changhyun fuck', which is strange, because he's never been much of a swearer. 

  
  


Aftershocks have Gyujin tingling down to his toes, and he's thinks he's as content as he'll ever be until he feels Changhyun pulse his release inside of him. Each rope of Changhyun's come hits his prostate with such velocity he feels his cock twitch again, even though he's just come. Changhyun rests his damp head on Gyujin's shoulder before his movements slow to a halt.

  
  


A beat passes, panting is the only sound.

  
  


"....Oh my God."

  
  


"You said that already."

  
  


"I know but...., oh my God."

  
  


Changhyun chuckles breathlessly and kisses a spot on Gyujin's shoulder.

  
  


"Here comes the gross part."

  
  


"Gross part? What do you mean by- uuggggh-,"

  
  


Changhyun pulls out, and come starts to leak out of Gyujin's body, which Changhyun (what a weirdo) sits back and watches it drip out.

  
  


"You know, it's kinda sexy."

  
  


"You're despicable."

  
  


Changhyun laughs out loud, before lying back down (probably in one of the several wet spots) next to Gyujin, and wrapping an arm around him.

  
  


"Yeah, but you love me anyway."

  
  


Gyujin's granted with a kiss on the cheek and before he slides into slumber, he makes a silent wish that he'll be with Changhyun for the rest of his birthdays.

  
  


Yeah, it was a perfect day.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> does anybody wanna donate holy water?
> 
> the story is starting to wind down now, i think maybe one or so chapters left (ps: if you have requests for things like more/better smut you can ask in the comments)


	10. full circle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: non-con mentioned, underage mentioned, general arguing, unrequited love, underage, etc. 
> 
> merry holidays everybody, sorry i took so long but i was having difficulty wrapping this baby up
> 
> this is the last chapter ( :( )
> 
> also theres a dialogue heavy section at the beginning with three people, but the pattern is gyujin, wooseok, changhyun until it ends.
> 
> feast yer eyes, my children

Wooseok wakes up to the sound of Changhyun's headboard slamming against the wall.

  
  


Sure, his roommates indiscriminate fucking sure does make for an effective alarm clock, but it's Thursday, a day he usually sleeps in for an hour longer than Changhyun. Not today, evidently; the pair in the adjacent room are fucking so enthusiastically they seem determined to act as a wake up call for the entire building. 

  
  


Wooseok grumbles out loud in annoyance, turns onto his side, and grabs a throw pillow to press against his exposed ear to block out the noise. It hardly makes any difference, but the slightest of improvements is better than none. He's like that for around fifteen minutes while the noise builds to a peak then dissipates completely, granting him the silence he's desired all morning. It's useless though, now that Wooseok's awake there isn't any way he'll be able to get back to sleep. He internally curses his own brain for wanting to be a morning person, and stumbles out of bed to fix himself breakfast. 

  
  


Ugh.

  
  


It seems Changhyun and Gyujin had the same idea he did just a few seconds earlier, because their already in the kitchen, looking awfully domestic making sandwiches wearing matching sweatpants. He stands out of eyeshot and watches them for a little while. Gyujin, who clearly has no regard whatsoever for culinary hygiene, licks a line of peanut butter off the table knife he was using, and Changhyun kisses off the dollop that catches the outside of his lip. They don't pull away for a bit, noses grazing as they have a conversation too quiet for Wooseok to hear, until Gyujin tips his head back to laugh. 

  
  


Jealousy surges through Wooseok's body. He suppresses the urge to rip Gyujin limb from limb as he enters the kitchen and sits on one of the bar stools. The romantic actions stop almost as instantly as both Changhyun and Gyujin's eyes find him.  

  
  


"Good morning," Wooseok says, hoping the sarcasm he intends is delivered. Gyujin rolls his eyes, so it probably was. "You guys do realize I still live here, right?"

  
  


Changhyun blinks a couple times, and puts his utensils down.

  
  


"Yeah, and...?"

  
  


"Your little 'eventful morning'? Yeah, you weren't the only ones who witnessed it. I think I might need sterilizing, honestly."

  
  


Silence settles over the three, and Wooseok can see a blush creeping onto Changhyun's cheeks when Gyujin pipes up.

  
  


"Oh please Wooseok, you're such a hypocrite."

  
  


"Excuse me?"

  
  


"Gyujin, don't."

  
  


"It's ridiculous, Changhyunnie. He can't just do one thing and get mad when someone else does it too."

  
  


"Um, back the fuck up, you weren't even there."

  
  


"Wooseok, please."

  
  


"I don't have to be around to know things."

  
  


"Meaning what, exactly?"

  
  


"Guys-"

  
  


"Meaning half the year is already talking about how much of a cockslut you are."

  
  


"Rather be a cockslut than a fat virgin. There's probably some cobwebs up your ass that you might wanna dust out."

  
  


"Please, not right no-"

  
  


"Oh, you are  _ insufferable _ . It's a wonder Changhyun puts up with you."

  
  


"Well he seemed to enjoy it when he was dating me."

  
  


"Ugh don't drag me -"

  
  


"Clearly not that much, considering he's with me now."

  
  


"Then why is he still  _ my _ best friend, hmm? Why do I always come first?"

  
  


"Guys, I'm right he-"

  
  


"It doesn't matter; he's with <me>, not you."

  
  


"Yeah, for now. He'll clue in sooner or later."

  
  


"Please, it's still only morning-"

  
  


"Okay, you know what? You don't even know me."

  
  


"And you don't know me. Don't try me sweetie, I could make you wish you were never born."

  
  


" **_GUYS!_ ** " Changhyun slams his hands down on the countertop, catching both Wooseok and Gyujin off guard. Everybody freezes for a moment. Wooseok can feel his heart beat pounding in his ears, and he's trying not to show how frazzled he is from the argument. It's nothing, it seems, in comparison to Changhyun, whose whole face has gone beet red.

  
  


"Do neither of you care for me?"

  
  


"What? Of course-"

  
  


"Yes, why would you even question-"

  
  


"Then why can't you at least  _ try _ to get along?"

  
  


"It's him-"

  
  


"I try, but-"

  
  


" _ Don't _ . Neither of you are trying. If you would stop jumping at each others throats long enough to  _ talk _ to each other, you'd realize you have more in common than you think."

  
  


"I'm sorry Changhyunnie, I just don't see how we could possibly understand each other."

  
  


Changhyun runs his hand through his hair, frustrated. He squeezes his eyes shut, and Wooseok thinks he's about to give in when he says, "Wooseok, Gyujin was taken advantage of when he was fourteen."

  
  


In that moment, it feels like a vacuum has sucked the air out of the room. He can't decide how he feels about Changhyun sharing something so personal about someone he's yet to have a civil conversation with, and his lungs feel oddly tight in his chest.  Tension (no pun intended) fights its way into Wooseok's muscles. It wasn't his fault he was the way he was. Wooseok thinks about all the awful things he's said to Gyujin, and guilt starts to set in.

  
  


"And Gyujin, Wooseok had a boyfriend when he was fifteen who used him for sex for three months straight."

  
  


Wooseok cast his eyes downward as he felt heat rush to his face. The silence tightens, and smothers him.

  
  


"I-, I'm sorry-, gosh, that sucks," Gyujin says softly, as though he's at a loss for words as well.

  
  


Wooseok chuckles emotionlessly, eyes still downcast. 

  
  


"See, you're both messed up. And I love both of you in spite of that so can you  _ please _ stop attacking each other now?"

  
  


They both nod their heads like children being scolded by a parent.

  
  


" _ And _ apologize?"

  
  


'Sorry's are mumbled. Changhyun claps his hands together once, seeming satisfied. 

  
  


"Alright, now that that's settled, we're all having dinner with Hwanhee, Dongyeol and my mom tomorrow night."

  
  


" _ WHAT?! _ "

  
  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
  


Wooseok's thinking about Hwanhee again.

  
  


It's a dangerous pastime, especially now that Hwanhee's sitting almost across from him, and Hwanhee's current boyfriend is directly opposite him with a big, stupid grin on his face.

  
  


Still, it doesn't stop him from wanting to sigh like a school girl when Hwanhee's eyes crinkle up as he laughs, or when he uses aegyo on his mother, and all Wooseok wants to do is stare when Hwanhee puts his hands up to his face and blushes at an embarrassing story his mother is telling. He can't, of course; Dongyeol's been shooting him death glares in intervals all night, which he returns with matched fervency.

  
  


Hwanhee's  _ right there _ , and every so often their eyes would meet, and it would break Wooseok a little bit more. Hwanhee's eyes are so  _ happy _ , but when they find Wooseok's they fill with remorse, and Wooseok hates that. He hates that he can't be the one that puts the twinkle in Hwanhee's eyes or the smile on his face. Regret lingers in Wooseok. It's almost as if they could still be together if Dongyeol wasn't in the picture. Of course, they never would have happened in the first place if Dongyeol wasn't in the picture, and that just makes Wooseok feel  _ so much worse _ .

  
  


There's not much else he can do; Changhyun's made him promise to be on his absolute best behaviour while his mother meets Gyujin and Dongyeol for the first time. While he'd like to be a snarky little shit to Dongyeol all night, he has to gather his face into indifference and respond politely whenever he's addressed, what seems like it will be a rare occurrence considering how the last twenty minutes have gone, so he watches. He watches Dongyeol shamelessly compliment Suhyun (Changhyun & Hwanhee's mother), he watches Gyujin grow increasingly flustered, downing every glass of water the waiter brings until he's fidgeting in his chair. 

  
  


He also watches their waiter, who incidentally is very cute. Jinwook (according to his nametag) is professional yet pleasant, with a smile that rivals Minsoo's. Since the restaurant is more on the quaint side, far off campus, and it's late, Jinwook appears to be one of the only waiters on shift, bouncing from table to table granting everybody with the gift of his smile. When he brings their food, Wooseok has to force himself to stop staring.

  
  


"How about a toast?" Wooseok snaps out of his stupor. "To great friends," Wooseok almost scoffs out loud when he meets Dongyeol's eyes for the umpteenth time, "to great connections, to Mom, who came  _ all _ the way down here, to growth, to-"

  
  


"I think that's quite enough, hyung," Hwanhee interrupts, "we aren't going to remember it all."

  
  


"Yeah, you're right; to us, then," Changhyun decides, and six glasses clank together in the centre of their table.

  
  


"But really, Mom it's great to have you here."

  
  


Suhyun smiles and ruffles Hwanhee's hair. He's got her eyes, Wooseok notices for the first time.

  
  


"I'm just very thankful for all of you for making my boys so happy," she says looking around the table.

  
  


"Aaaah Mommm!" Hwanhee whines, embarrassed, and it takes all Wooseok has to not jump across the table and gather Hwanhee into the tightest bear hug possible.

  
  


Dongyeol just smiles his annoyingly perfect smile and bumps Hwanhee's shoulder.

  
  


"What? It's true. You seem really happy, and that's all a mother wants."

  
  


"With all due respect, Suhyun-ssi, if anyone's lucky, or happy, or anything, it's me. You've raised a pretty awesome kid." 

  
  


Wooseok tries not to gag at Dongyeol's words. 

  
  


"Well, I'm just glad Hwanhee's found someone as fond of him as he is them."

  
  


Silence empties the table, and awkwardness seeps into the atmosphere, thick and turgid. Suhyun, confused, looks around the table.

  
  


It's going to be a  _ long _ night.

  
  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
  


Wooseok's the last one sitting at the table, using his chopsticks to draw invisible circles on his napkin. 

  
  


He's  _ still _ thinking about Hwanhee, but he's now decided that he should figure out a way to get over his feelings for the boy, resigning to the thought that he no longer stands any sort of chance against Dongyeol. He isn't sure if the pair have had sex yet, and he knows that once they do, he may as well no longer be in the picture at all; he's had a fair amount of sex with Dongyeol, he knows how ridiculously incredible it is. 

  
  


Wooseok's so lost in thought that he doesn't hear Jinwook approach his table, and he's so distracted that Jinwook has to delicately place a hand on his shoulder to get his attention. Wooseok's head snaps up, and his eyes meet Jinwook's. 

  
  


Huh, they're pretty.

  
  


"We're closing pretty soon."

  
  


His voice is pretty too, but Wooseok knew that already; it's soft and sweet and unattainable, like cookie dough. He shakes his head as if to jiggle any remaining thoughts of Hwanhee out of his brain, then finds Jinwook's eyes again. 

  
  


"Actually, it won't be for another ten minutes, but I thought I'd let you know in advance."

  
  


"Yeah, thanks. I'll be on my way in a few minutes."

  
  


Wooseok smiles politely and Jinwook smiles back, squeezes his shoulder  _ ever so gently _ , and returns to the cashier. Wooseok's heart flutters a little bit. He's just started collecting himself when he hears the front door open.

  
  


Who could possibly be arriving at a time like this?

  
  


Wait, it couldn't possibly be-

  
  


"Ah, Sooil you're lucky; I'm just about to close up shop."

  
  


You've got to be joking.

  
  


"I know, I know, I'm fairly certain I ran at least three red lights on the way."

  
  


Jinwook laughs, and starts typing something into the cashier machine.

  
  


"Why were you so hellbent on getting here tonight, aren't there like, a billion take-out places in town?"

  
  


"It's Minsoo; I swear, he's such a diva, since we came here a few weeks back he won't even look at chicken from anywhere else."

  
  


Jinwook laughs again.

  
  


"Oh yeah, he told me you <popped the question> a few days ago."

  
  


Wooseok's blood runs cold and he hears Sooil laugh the same laugh he used to get drunk on.

  
  


"I did."

  
  


"Oh, congrats!"

  
  


"Yeah you'd think he'd say yes, not 'let me think about it'. I'm just glad he agreed in the end."

  
  


Wooseok's brain stops working, and his body moves on autopilot as he gets up from the table and strides right up to Sooil.

  
  


"Wooseok! I didn't know you ca-"

  
  


"You hurt me."

  
  


Sooil blinks a couple times, stunned. Wooseok notices he's wearing circular glasses today. Jinwook backs into the kitchen, but Wooseok somehow knows he's still listening. 

  
  


"What..?"

  
  


Wooseok's so tired of the confusion. He's so tired of being at war with himself all the time, he's tired of treating his body like a used condom, and his heart is pounding so hard he can feel blood pulsing in his fingertips. He doesn't know what he's doing or what he's saying; he doesn't have a plan, he just needs this off his chest.

  
  


"I loved you, and you hurt me. When we were together you were everything to me, and I was nothing to you, but I loved you anyway. When you pushed me away, I hated myself but I still loved you. I loved you so much that I had sex with you almost everyday because I thought it was the only thing that would make you happy with me. I loved you  _ so much _ , and when you left, it tore me apart." 

  
  


Sooil blinks a few more times. Wooseok didn't notice when tears started falling, but at some point they did and now their sticking to his cheeks. His hearts pace hasn't relented, if anything its sped up even more.

  
  


"Wooseok, I..."

  
  


Wooseok wipes the tears off his cheeks with is palms.

  
  


"I had no idea; come here."

  
  


He hates himself a little bit for it, but Wooseok comes, and lets Sooil wrap his strong arms around him. Wooseok almost wants to cry again.

  
  


"Have you always been feeling like this?"

  
  


Wooseok nods into his chest, and Sooil hugs him tighter.

  
  


"It's okay, you didn't know."

  
  


"No it's not. And for the record, I did care about you, a lot more than I was expecting."

  
  


Sooil pulls back, and holds both of Wooseok's shoulders in a way that makes Wooseok feel like he's being evaluated. Their eyes meet properly for the first time in six years, and Sooil's gaze is intense.

  
  


"Wooseok, I would never hurt you on purpose. Do you believe me?"

  
  


And Wooseok doesn't know if it's because he still wants Sooil to love him, whether it's fifteen year-old Wooseok in control right now, or whether he just wants to be free, but he's nodding, and he means it too. Sooil gathers him back into a hug, and they stay like that until Jinwook clears his throat softly.

  
  


"Sorry, I wanted to give you privacy, but I've really got to start closing now."

  
  


They let go, and Wooseok notices there are tears in Sooil's eyes. He takes a deep breath, and gives Wooseok a watery smile.

  
  


"Make sure you call me, okay?"

  
  


Wooseok nods again, and Sooil departs with his chicken. It's just him and Jinwook now.

  
  


"Um Wooseok, is it? This might be a bit forward considering you've just gotten closure from your ex, but-"

  
  


"Yes."

  
  


"You don't even know what I'm about to ask. I could be about to ask you to join the Cult of the Supreme Being for all you know."

  
  


"In that case, double yes, since I can tell you're a bit of a history nerd."

  
  


Jinwook snickers, and beams up at Wooseok.

  
  


"Can I get your number? It's a bit forward, I know, it's just you're really fucking cute and I'm assuming you're gay and if I don't ask now I'll hate myself for at least an hour."

  
  


"An hour? No way, I could make you hate yourself for months."

  
  


"Point proven, soo..."

  
  


"...I'll give you my number on one condition: you give me yours too."

  
  


Jinwook won't stop smiling and neither can Wooseok, in spite of himself. His phone buzzes in his pocket.

  
  
  


Changcheeks: where r u we left like ages ago    20:02

 

RE Changcheeks: dont wait up    20:02

  
  


And though he probably should have left, Wooseok ends up spending the entire night at the restaurant chatting with Jinwook, and he doesn't think about Hwanhee or Sooil once. 

  
  


You could call that progress.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well thats that!
> 
> thank you all so much for your wonderful support in this story that i had such fun writing; this was my first fic (like, ever) so it means a lot to me that y'all were supportive and enthusiastic


End file.
